Here's your serious answer: Gridlock. Which in recent history produces the best overall results for conservatives. When the two branches of government can't agree, they can't give our rights away as easily and they don't spend our money as fast.
So let me get this straight: You're angry about the current immigration situation, so you want gridlock, which will keep the situation as it is? Uh, ok...(???)
And if you think picking judges for the SCOTUS, tax cuts, immigration reduction (see below, and look up the facts) are all the result of gridlock, you must be living in the other of Edwards' Two Americas.