"Typically, she is NOT part of a "package," and is entitled to her own private life and relationship with her husband."
Yeah, right. Just watch what happens when the spouse (no longer just wives, ya know) decides to attend another church. God forbid that they'd have a different religion!
For decades churches got "2 for 1" - the pastor's wife baked cookies, played piano, taught Sundah School, etc etc. It's a hard stereotype to break.
What is definitely breaking that stereotype is that the pastor's spouse usually makes significantly more money than the pastor, and therefore is the dominant career.
Indeed it is, but it is the pastor's responsibility to clarify her role with the Board or Call committee right from the start. If she has a defined role, great, but it needs to be specified up front, and paid for. If she is to be just another member of the congregation, she can for sure bake cookies and do whatever other members do. I would question why a preacher's wife would want to attend a different church, however.
My brother-in-law is a pastor. His wife was having great difficulty being the "perfect pastor's wife", along with other issues. She did attend a different church for a few years. And one of their problems is that they have a "special needs" child, and he didn't fall into place like the other kids did. They eventually divorced. And he is soon to remarry. It is sad for the entire family. But, I sincerely hope his new start will be good for him and his new wife.