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To: parsifal
IMHO, real strength doesn't have to dress itself up and play pretend games. So, if I love someone, I'm going to tell them. If I love someone, I'm going to look after them to the best of my ability within the boundaries of the relationship.

Another thing on this issue, while what you say is fine, if women don't respond to it in significant numbers, it's not a winning approach. Selling what women aren't buying isn't going to get a man anywhere worth going.

A big part of the problem is that many self described 'nice guys' aren't all that nice. They are quiet controllers, manipulators, and even worse. Women aren't dummies - they recognize that from their own past histories and just don't trust it. Many women quickly come to the conclusion that nobody worth knowing could possibly be genuinely all that nice.

That's not a mandate to be mean, though. But just talk to some women about the nice, sweet guys in their lives: they like having them around but they don't see them as sexual beings. A man who strips himself of his sexual instinct in an effort to be nice will not be rewarded for that beavior by a sexual response. It makes no sense at all for a man to expect it to, yet many many men continue on that strategy.

488 posted on 03/21/2006 5:42:52 PM PST by HitmanLV (Listen to my demos for Savage Nation contest: http://www.geocities.com/mr_vinnie_vegas/index.html)
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To: HitmanLV

But just talk to some women about the nice, sweet guys in their lives: they like having them around but they don't see them as sexual beings. A man who strips himself of his sexual instinct in an effort to be nice will not be rewarded for that beavior by a sexual response. It makes no sense at all for a man to expect it to, yet many many men continue on that strategy.



You're the Tom Cruise character in Magnolia, right?


489 posted on 03/21/2006 5:44:59 PM PST by durasell (!)
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To: HitmanLV

A man who strips himself of his sexual instinct in an effort to be nice will not be rewarded for that beavior by a sexual response. It makes no sense at all for a man to expect it to, yet many many men continue on that strategy.

Every time I think we agree, you throw me for a loop. To me, being nice isn't a strategy to get babes. It simply is who I am. I agree that most women don't get turned on by it. IMHO, it isn't because somebody "nice" in their past turned out to be a wolf in sheep's clothing. It's just genetic. And, unfortunately, most don't seem to be able to rise above their biological programming.

One of my female friends is an extremely gorgeous young woman with a lot of brains (the part I like). She says that most of the men who try to come on to her are complete a**holes. I told her that's because only a**holes are conceited and self-confident enough to try. The nice guys don't because their experiences have been that beautiful women are hooked up with a**holes and run like heck from someone decent. The same goes for most other women.

Is this the chicken and the egg or the egg and the chicken. I don't know. I know a lot of women who have brains and beauty and they sleep with drunks and/or drug using losers. Some of the men have money. Some of them don't. Go figure. All I know is that I don't plan on acting mean to get some loving. If that means I don't get loving, so be it.

If I can rise above my genes and like and/or sleep with a woman who has an "a" bra size, then I figure women ought to be able to rise above their genes and look for good husband and good father types as opposed to apeneck Sweeney.

parsy, who has a normal sized neck.


502 posted on 03/23/2006 12:52:47 PM PST by parsifal ("Knock and ye shall receive!" (The Bible, somewhere.))
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