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another article by shari finkelstein on intersexed children:

http://venus-unrelenting.com/other.html
Shari Finkelstein
Response paper #1
988:101:01
The True Other

Although many often describe Women as the lesser regarded and advantageous sex, one only has to believe in Anne Fausto-Sterling's belief in "The Five Sexes: Why Female and Male Are Not Enough", to know the true other is not the second class women, but the largely ignored intersexed.
In "Age, Class, and Sex: Women Redefining Difference", Audre Lorde states, "In a society where the good is defined in terms of profit rather than in terms of human need, there must always be some group of people who, through systematized oppression, can be made to feel surplus, to occupy the place of the dehumanized inferior." She continues on, "Within this society, that group is made up of Black and Third World people, working-class people, older people and women."(WCS, 103)
What Lorde, and so many others, ignore though, is what medical investigators have recognized for quite some time. "For biologically speaking, there are many gradations running from female to male; depending on how one calls the shots, one can argue that along the spectrum lie at least five sexes-and perhaps maybe more."(Fausto-Sterling, 54) On the basis of what is known about them, the author suggests that the three intersexes deserve to be known as additional sexes in their own right. The intersexed human's inner life, complete with their special needs and problems, attractions and repulsions have gone unexplored by science. (54) 013 The intersexed outer life has completely omitted from society, where one has to look no further than any restroom or legal document to see that if you are not strictly male or female, you may as well not exist.
Adrienne Rich in "Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence", says "Lesbian existence comprises of both the breaking of taboo, and the rejection of a compulsory way of life."(Reader, 239) There is no denying these facts for lesbians, but it can also be applied to sex. In virtually every society, what is compulsory is fitting into the "natural" classification of male or female. Whereas the "lesbian existence has been lived...without access to any knowledge of a tradition, a continuity, a social underpinning.", and has "historically been deprived of a political existence through "inclusion" as female versions of male sexuality", it has existed with acknowledgment by all, regardless of with support or contempt. In recent decades the homosexual movement has risen, giving themselves character and history with every "outing". The intersexed have a vast lack of public support resources in comparison, and although they are up to 4% births per year, virtually none are publicly accepted.
Simone de Beauroir states in "The Second Sex", "The category of the Other is as primordial as consciousness itself. In most primitive societies... one finds the expression of duality-that of the Self and the Other. This duality was not originally attached to the division of the sexes; it was not dependent on any imperical facts. Otherness is a fundamental category of human thought." "Thus it is that no group ever sets itself up as the One without at once setting up the Other over against itself." (xxiii) Throughout time, the true Other has been so well portrayed that it has been able to become virtually invisible. "Legally...every adult is either man or woman", and although Fausto-Sterling states that the difference is not trivial, it must be, for why else would we be preconditioned to ignore the intersexed?
Society and politics seem to love to control many aspects of our lives, embedding in our impressionable minds that if what they say is what their forefathers said, it must be true, as g-d, if one believes, has meant it to be. The fact remains though that "If the state and the legal system have an interest in maintaining a two-party sex system, they are in defiance of nature."
Although it is clear that in order to correct this, we must act by reversing the ignoring of the intersexed; it would be a long hard struggle. In a world where women are often denied the rights of their male counterparts, and homosexuals are only now gaining exceptance, approval for yet another minority-a minority in the minority-would take much effort.
As Lourde says, "it is the members of oppressed, objectified groups who are expected to stretch out and bridge the gap between the actualities in our lives and the consciousness of our oppressor" "It is the responsibility of the oppressed to teach the oppressors their mistakes."(WCS, 104) Therefore, before a "vision of sexual multiplicity can be realized, the first openly intersexual children and their parents will have to be the brave pioneers who will bear the brunt of society's growing pains."(Fausto-Sterling, 59).
This in my opinion is highly unlikely for the near future. As a young woman who has grown from a highly taunted child, I know the pain childhood can bring. The effort needed simply to educate the nation, much less the world, of the existence of the intersexed would be huge and possibly forever traumatizing on the child. No parent would press that upon his or her child, and¹ even fewer children would choose that route. The fact is, in this day and age, any small home-grown campaign, as well as it means, and as large as it aims, can fail without proper financial and social support, and in this day and age, success for another minority while others are still fighting seems to be a dream for the future. It is a sad reality, yet it is reality. Although many do acknowledge and accept the intersexed as sexual beings in their own right, the majority of existence has and always will considered them the invisible Other.