[Rebelbase]

Chuck is a decent guy. There's just no humor in those jokes for me.

I guess i'm just uncultured and unrefined as this kind of stuff makes me laugh:

A woman goes into Wal-Mart to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter. A Wal-Mart associate is standing there wearing dark shades.

She says, "Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?" He says, "Ma'am, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound it makes.

She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway. He says, "That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-LB. Test line. It's a good all around combination; and it's on sale this week for only $20.00." She says, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!"

As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor.

"Oh, that sounds like a Master Card," he says.

She bends down to pick it up and accidentally breaks wind. At first she is really embarrassed, but then realizes there is no way the blind clerk could tell it was she who tooted. Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around.

The man rings up the sale and says, "That'll be $34.50 please. "

The woman is totally confused by this and asks, "Didn't you tell me it was on sale for $20.00? How did you get $34.50?"

He replies, "Yes, Ma'am. The rod and reel is $20.00, but the Duck Call Is $11.00 and the Catfish Bait is $3.50."

[luvbach1]

Now that was funny!

[tumblindice]

That's funny stuff! Ever used shad sides for cat-bait? I put it on the treblehook while wearing rubber gloves & holding my breath. But channels love it.
Having said that:
1.) Anything that comes out of Brown University is suspect; and,
2.) Chuck Norris can sharpen a lawn mover blade
while the mower is running.

[IamConservative]

Friday Fart Joke!

True story. I was in “Danner’s Discount Department Store” – what we had long before Wal-Mart – with my dad when I was maybe 10 years old. We were in the fishing tackle aisle. Another man was in the next aisle over. They played quite loudly over the intercom the music they play when they call the horses to the gate at the track. (Remember this was a loud melodic refrain from a trumpet, it will be important later.) The symbolism in this case was a call to a special in Woman’s clothing. So they play this music quite loudly over the intercom and the man in the next aisle over apparently thought he would take advantage of the cover noise to pass some wind. Unfortunately, he had a timing problem. Just as the trumpet quieted from the intercom, without a single beat missed, he passed the most melodic and lengthy wind ever heard – it was even in the right key. It began soprano, dropped down to a baritone and back to a soprano at the end. It was in key the entire way. My dad and I both were immediately stricken with an urge to erupt in laughter that was debilitating. My dad eventually grabbed me about the shoulders and clasped his hand over my mouth and staggered about three aisles over where after at least 10 minutes of laughter, we were able to regain our composure and get to the car. Not a single conversation about a department store for the next 30 years could pass without that story being told.

[filepile]

Catfish bait? For the love of Mike...