Sounds like you need a new place to shop then. I shop online almost exclusively (with the exception of fresh food) and have never had the FedEx driver search my boxes. Plus I get great customer service, not snotty customer disservice.
I guess the thing that bothers me the most is that they assume you have stolen something. They do not catch the hard core thieves this way, they only inconvenience and humiliate their shoppers.
When I called, I got the impression from the manager, he really didn't care, it was company policy