Before you do end up like your friends....may I suggest a book/CD? Marriage on the Rock by Jimmy Evans:
http://store.marriagetoday.org/product.php?productid=16177&cat=0&page=1 No, I don't get a cut.
It is a biblical restatement of the Mars/Venus thing....explains in plain, clear, understandable English that men and women have different needs....and the best way to make sure your needs are taken care of is to make sure that your spouses needs are taken care of first. That does not equate to a husband allowing himself to be, um, let's just say subjugated and it does not mean that the wife should be subjugated either.
When a woman's emotional needs are not met, that deficiency can come out in multiple ways...and it's never pretty. The emotional needs of a woman are least understood and often overlooked, belittled and ignored. A man who doesn't take the time to understand this need is in for a rough ride. My best to you....and may you enjoy a long and happy marriage.