Posted on 01/15/2006 4:55:00 AM PST by Excuse_My_Bellicosity
I have no idea what you're talking about. (Says the short guy who dated tall girls in high school.)
well....that's up to you....but it'll be worth the wait! :)
It's Dr. Laura's book about the things that women do to mess up their lives. I'm sure it covers a**holes well.
Well, my prom date was 6'1, but other than that...
I actually had an internet date reject me because I was "a nice guy, but just too short."
See #303. Dr. Laura has that covered.
My last girlfriend I knew for 10 years before, and it still didn't work out. Problem was in that time, we had both changed. Plus since we met in high school and dated in our twenties, we had "grown up" into less compatible people.
Well I dunno, agewise anything from 21-35 is fair game to me at this point.
Not much open flame, but lots of smoldering.
So you are in favor of arranged marriages?
I wouldn't say they were the One True Way (tm), but I'd say they can't be dismissed as casually as you imply in your question.
Impulse-pairing is an interesting way to put it.
In most of the western world, it's the best description. Young people make hasty decisions based on a mix of emotion and hormones, without any particular effort to make sure there's a basis for a permanent relationship.
But I think what we were talking about was the talking and agreeing before the marriage.
I don't think "we" were, but it did come up on the thread, and I agreed wholeheartedly.
I just always thought there should be love and respect in a marriage. Attraction is often the first step toward building love, imho.
Many successful arranged marriages illustrate that trust and respect can be based on other things than initial attraction. And indeed, attraction is a very bad basis for love and respect; attraction is mostly hormonal, and hormones are great for preserving the species--but that's about it.
In fact, they tend to undermine stable relationships. Note, for example, studies that have demonstrated increased infidelity during the time of ovulation. Or studies that have demonstrated a strong sexual preference for high-testosterone males, despite (per other studies) their increased likelihood of infidelity. In short, following your hormones is a great way to get pregnant, but not a great way to plan your 50th wedding anniversary.
Great story! I love it!
Thank you for sharing that. I respect your point of view.
Guys in their 20's should check out older women. When I was 24 I was dating a lady who was 39. Soap opera actress. Very high libido
I assume you aren't asking why physical attraction is temporary. As for "true love", I didn't say that true love is temporary--but "romantic" love is not true love, and it is temporary.
(In best Jimmy Durante voice) I got a million of 'em.
Very wise point.
My, Fawn, what cynicism.
Could it be some people stay married because, like some fine wines, it gets better with time?
Naw
DD...I love HOTD...but she just didn't get the joke.
True story...worked at Boeing and they were building a retirement home "up the hill." A lot of us joked about "trolling for a hubby" when we got the invites for the open house....
don't you know we are ALL supposed to end up bitter and divorced and dying alone in the old folks home? you are a real LOSER if you stay married.... /sarcasm
What you say is true, but only partly. Any sort of initial attraction--physical or otherwise--is guaranteed to be superficial, which more or less makes my point without specifying "physical" attraction.
But the physical component is very important, especially for the young 'uns who are doing most of the marrying. And usually, it plays a much larger role for girls than they will admit. They often seem to project qualities of character onto a person who is physically attractive--they "just know" that the guy is warm, tender, misunderstood, et-boring-cetera, when the only thing they really know is the superficialities.
I see from other posts, that we have a different culture and different world view. I respect yours. But I might be more of a 'romantic' type. I would like to think romance can be kept alive. But everything takes an effort. If romance isn't important in some relationships, that's OK, too. People are different.
Dan, I'd address that on two levels.
If you have kids, you owe it to your children to figure out how to stay together and at least create a semblence of a happy home for their sake until they are adults.
But if there are no kids involved, there is no point in two adults making each other miserable for life.
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