[Mordacious]

The judge told me, 'If we send you to a physician who vouches that your rectum has been penetrated in any way, you will be sentenced to death'

-"Achmed, how is the ball team coming along?"

-"Not so good. We've got 23 pitchers and no catchers."

Seriously, these people are freaking nuts.

[RS]

http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheFusilliJerry.htm


Frank: It was a million to one shot, Doc. Million to one.

~

Estelle: Where have you been?!! You were supposed to fix the stove! I've been waiting for hours!

Frank: I fell on some Fusilli.

Estelle: Fusilli?

Frank: You know, the corkscrew pasta. It was a Fusilli Jerry. It got stuck in me. Had to go to the proctologist.