... I also see no difference between looters,
and archeologists - except who funds the expedition
and who benefits financially.
Your analogy between looters and archeologists reflects the level of thought in your tag line, "outside a good dog, a book is your best friend. inside a dog it's too dark to read".
Have you thought about selling your pit bull to the Golden Dragon Chinese restaurant and training your next dog differently than your present one?
That way, you won't have to worry about winding up inside your dog. And then you also won't have to try to remember a small LED to read by.
;-)