Raiding the Icebox: Behind Its Warm Front, the United States Made Cold Calculations to Subdue Canada

The Washington Post ^ | December 30, 2005 | Peter Carlson

[quidnunc]

Invading Canada won't be like invading Iraq: When we invade Canada, nobody will be able to grumble that we didn't have a plan.

The United States government does have a plan to invade Canada. It's a 94-page document called "Joint Army and Navy Basic War Plan — Red," with the word SECRET stamped on the cover. It's a bold plan, a bodacious plan, a step-by-step plan to invade, seize and annex our neighbor to the north. It goes like this:

First, we send a joint Army-Navy overseas force to capture the port city of Halifax, cutting the Canadians off from their British allies.

Then we seize Canadian power plants near Niagara Falls, so they freeze in the dark.

-snip-

[COEXERJ145]

War Plan Green was officially canceled by the U.S. Army in 1946.

[VOA]

D-mn, the Canadians are onto us.
I guess they knew we wouldn't be satisfied to only subdue the Native Americans...
we've got to get control of all their "First Nations" people.

Boy howdy, not much gets past liberal Canadians and Barney Fife (sp?).

[Salgak]

My Wife's Cub Scout Den is available, or would that be massive overkill ???? (evil grin)

[fish hawk]

Minerals, oil, timber, etc. We do not however need the people.

[wildcatf4f3]

oil

[Obadiah]

Okay, I'm all in favor of invading Canada and annexing it, but hey!, they don't get to vote in any elections! We don't need more stinkin' socialists yucking up the works for the rest of us.

[sarasmom]

What else does a government do with a bunch of bloodthirsty genius warmongers on payroll, during peacetime?

[CaptainCanada]

I recall y'alls tried to invade us once before and thought it
would be a cakewalk. And I'm quite sure you got your butts kicked
pretty good by our fellers.
I'm thinking you got your hands full with a bunch of 3rd world types in the
Middle East right now and don't really want to take on a bunch of pissed-off
Canucks with hockey sticks...

[thoughtomator]

OK howabout this compromise: We admit everything west of Ottawa as a single State. Everything east of Ottawa gets carpet bombed. Deal?

[Windcatcher]

I'd be willing to let provinces like Alberta apply to join the U.S., but I do *not* want Ontario to darken our doorstep. The last thing we need are vicious Leninists.

Don't worry, (eastern) Canada, not only won't we attack you, we don't *want* you. So there.

[CaptainCanada]

I think we have the basis for an amicable settlement.. ;-D

[Kitten Festival]

I like it. Let's roll!

[LegendHasIt]

No Blood for Moosehead Beer!

Let the sanctions work!

Give Hans Blix more time to find their cows and sheep of mass destruction!

[expatpat]

....authorities soon arrested the Confederates and interned them for the duration of the War, the money was never recovered. $300,000 'll buy a lot of Molsons, 'specially in 1865

LOL! But it probably bought Mausers, not Molsons.

[Fatuncle]

Yep. Went swaggering North and discovered just a little late that we had opened a can of whoopass. Limped home with our tails between our legs, or so my history books tell me.

[Fatuncle]

The people of Canada are delightful, those that I have met. Their government is one of the most corrupt in the hemisphere.

[Snowyman]

Limped home with our tails between our legs

You've tried it 4 times with at least 10 different armies . If you could get past the Tim Hortons you'd have a chance. You can't . You don't .

[Boris99]

Trust me, if we gave it another go around the 82nd Airborne would be drinking "Iced Cap" at 24 Sussex Drive within 24 hours. :)

[Fatuncle]

My history books were thirty-some years ago, so I am not too current, and only remember the conflict in the late 1700's - early 1800's.

Nothing in them about hockey. ;)