Just Saw "Narnia"...it Sucked

n/a | 12-27-05 | Bob J

[Bob J]

After reading all the hype in the media and on FR, I was excited to see the film of the CS Lewis book. I have to say I was disappointed. For all it's grandiosity and provenance, I found it clunky, sometimes difficult to follow and worse, unbelieveable (even a "fantasy" movie must reasonable enough in the story and behavior of it's characters to hurdle the initial "willing suspension of disbelief")

The religious basis and backdop to the story has been argued at length on FR, so let's leave that at the doorstep and discuss it's cinematic achievements, or lack thereof.

The Story.

This may have been why I had a problem with the movie. After the presentation of the premise and the characters, I found myslef resisting acceptance that an entire fantasy world filled with magic, mythologic creatures, witches, generals and armies was waiting for a four small children to come and save their world....by prophecy and design. It would have been more believeable if they happened into the world by accident and through clever plot twists were responsible for the salvation of Narnia. But there was nothing really special about these kids, no ancestors with a special connection/knowledge to Narnia, no special abilities, expertise or talents, They were not exceptional in any way...they were just kids. Why did the land of Narnia need them? They added nothing that wasn't already there and in fact detracted from it.

The opening.

The setup took far too long. I wasn't watching my watch but it must have taken over 20-30 minutes for the first kid to walk out the back of the wardrobe closet into the land of Narnia. I didn't understand the emphasis placed on this part of the book as it had little to do with subsequent events. Did it matter that much to the story that the the kids were sent off to the professor because their mother was concerned about the danger of WWII? There was a passing reference later about being shipped off to avoid the effects of war only to be dropped in the middle of the war in Narnia (and whether they should get involved at all), but it fell limply to the ground.

The characters.

Ouch. Let's go by the numbers.

The Professor and his maid (?).

Good cop bad cop. The maid is stern, the professor, kind. So what? The movie feints toward this professor knowing more about Narnia and the wardrobe, but it leaves it there. You think he is going to add some specific knowledge or experience that the kids might benefit from (if not be involved himself) but they movie drops it and he becomes a useless figure in the overall plot. Why waste screen time on it?

Lucy - A typical, precocious, British eight year old. The most likeable character in the movie (which might not be saying much) but I grow weary of the English tendancy to cast their child characters beyond their years. I had three "laugh" moments in this movie, two concerning her. First, when she hits the bullseye with her magic "knife" and then when she "flashes it" and heads off to vanquish the armies of evil. A real laugher.

Susan - The most annoying, negative character in the movie. At first I made parallels to Wendy from "Peter Pan, but you believed Wendy was concerned about the younger children while Susan comes off as a party killing shrew. They needed to soften this character but didn't. Throughout most of the movie I kept wondering when she was going to use those damn arrows...had to wait until the last 2 minutes and by then it was anticlimatic.

Edmund - The anti-hero who becomes hero. I busted out laughing (third instance) when they put he and his brother in those stupid looking suits of armor. We are asked to believe this 10 and 14 year old are going to take part in a "Braveheart" type battle with huge warriors and mythological creatures and vanquish all? I might have believed it if they were given extrahuman strength, speed and agility. Even with their magic "implements" the battle scenes with these two were comical. Think of William Wallace in a sword fight with Doogie Howser.

Peter - Peter is supposed to be the 14 year old hero of the story, protecting his siblings while winding their way through the dangers of a mystical kingdom. The residents of Narnia wait for his arrival to lead their armies of druids and gargoyles againt the forces of evil in a final battle of epic proportions and historic finality. Sorry. Through the first 4/5ths of the movie Peter comes off as an effeminate British girlie boy and it is too much to ask the audience to believe he is the saviour of Narnia. Why would they want or need him?

The Witch - Huh? Tilda Swinson does comes off as an evil bitch but I never did beleive she, or anyone, would want to be the King or Queen of Narnia. It would be like Sauron of Moldor and his legions of Orks waging an epic battle for the control of The Shire. Snooze.

That's my nutshell of a take. If you ave seen narnia and would like to comment, feel free to do so but let's keep it clean.

[Blzbba]

"Hey! No dissing NPH! He rocked in H&KGTWC, "


He also picked apart the brains of insects in "Starship Troopers".

Don't mess with Doogie!

[theFIRMbss]

>C.S. Lewis is.... Harry Potter's OCCULT-MASTER...

There's something happening here
What it is ain't exactly clear
There's a man with a gun over there
Telling me I got to beware

I think it's time we stop, children, what's that sound
Everybody look what's going down

There's battle lines being drawn
Nobody's right if everybody's wrong
Young people speaking their minds
Getting so much resistance from behind

I think it's time we stop, hey, what's that sound
Everybody look what's going down

What a field-day for the heat
A thousand people in the street
Singing songs and carrying signs
Mostly say, hooray for our side

It's time we stop, hey, what's that sound
Everybody look what's going down

Paranoia strikes deep
Into your life it will creep
It starts when you're always afraid
You step out of line, the man come and take you away

We better stop, hey, what's that sound
Everybody look what's going down
Stop, hey, what's that sound
Everybody look what's going down
Stop, now, what's that sound
Everybody look what's going down
Stop, children, what's that sound
Everybody look what's going down

[sr4402]

I agree with loreldan. This is a movie for children based on a book. Therefore, you need to look at this from children's eyes and from those who have read the Narnia Series.

For me, someone who has read the stories, over and over, since I was a child, this first movie was tremendous and I am looking forward to "Prince Caspian" which I have heard is the next to come out. In this one the characters do come out and yes these are portrayed as ordinary children (which I believe C.S. Lewis intended).

Edmund, who is quite self-centered and selfish does find himself seduced by evil (the White Witch) and is the "traitor" for which Aslan dies in his place. Edmund learns from his experience as does a very naughty boy to come in "Price Caspian".

Another thing to know is that this is not the first attempt at making a Narnia Series. The BBC has it, and I can tell you that IMHO this is far superior. This movie moves dynamically in comparison to those done before.

Also remember that this is more British based and more intellectual. It is sweeping the old continent as we speak and taking it by a storm. Like the Harry Potter books, the stories are somewhat convoluted and you have to see them sometimes, once or twice to get the full impact.

Thus I rate LLW in the class of movies I want to see over and over again and possibly own on DVD.

Last thought: When we were sitting waiting to see Pride and Prejudice 2005, there was a narnia poster over our heads. Every child passing looked at the poster. Some said they couldn't wait to see it, others would just say awesome and some parents had to explain to there very little ones why they couldn't go (though they wanted to) because they weren't ready yet. I did not see a child who was not interested in seeing LLW and I'm looking forward to hearing comments by children about this movie.

Any One?

[SolidRedState]

Both my kids had to read this book in 4th grade.

Both said it was the worst book ever written, and stand by that feeling today 12 and 16 years later.

[Bob J]

"It seems you were expecting more out of a children's movie than you should have."

I think I was expecting more out of the hype...heheh.

[netmilsmom]

We loved it. It's the first movie ever that my eight year old did not hide under her coat at the intense parts.
We've read the books so many times, she was immune.

My only problem is that the White Witch should have been prettier to begin with but the lady that played her was very good.

Sorry you didn't like it. I do think it was more for kids, though.

[AlaninSA]

Thanks. I'll compare my thoughts with yours later...I'm going to the 4:00 showing this afternoon (cheaper tickets). Thank you, Wal Mart, for the cheap (and soon-to-be-smuggled) candy.

[Blzbba]

"If you read TMN first, you don't have any questions about Narnia."


Or any questions about the Witch (She-b*tch from Charn) or Wardrobe...

[MinorityRepublican]

Hey dude. Lighten up. It's Christmas. I thought the movie was awesome. But then again, I'm 22 years old and I was a little boy when I read the book and I loved it.

Sorry that you got disappointed. My advice to you in the future is to avoid movies of children's tales.

It is obvious you cannot put yourself in the mind of a child.

[RadioAstronomer]

You just saw the movie of the 2nd book.

It used to be the first book. The order has been changed in the past few years.

[My2Cents]

I saw Narnia three times. Thought it was great. So there.

[fizziwig]

"Take heart, there's a great story in the Bible about a bunch of kids teasing a prophet. He warns them to stop and when they don't he orders a she bear out of the woods who kills and eats them. Great story"

Yes, children should be brutally murdered for teasing.

I remember just recently some kid made fun of the bicycle I was riding. I would have loved to have called out a she bear to disembowl that brat...but alas... where have all the she bears gone?

Too many brats...not enough she bears...:(

[MeanWestTexan]

I think the books were actually re-ordered (with LWW being first) by an American editor.

[stanz]

We thought it was a wonderful trip into a fantasy world. Nevermind the so-called allegory on the part of C.S. Lewis. It was pure magic.

[luckystarmom]

It was the first book of the series that he wrote. However, TMN chronologically comes before LWW.

[cornelis]

But there was nothing really special about these kids, no ancestors with a special connection/knowledge to Narnia, no special abilities, expertise or talents, They were not exceptional in any way...they were just kids. Why did the land of Narnia need them? They added nothing that wasn't already there and in fact detracted from it.

This one is easy: You, too, are special Bob J.

[MeanWestTexan]

"Susan - The most annoying, negative character in the movie."

Well, if it makes you happy, I believe Susan, alone of all the children goes to Hell (or rather, does not go to Heaven) in the last book (The Last Battle).

[luckystarmom]

Don't spoil it for him. He needs to read the books to find out what happens.

[Aquinasfan]

Am I the only one around that thought the LOTR was too-hyped? I was completely unimpressed, but due in large part to all the constant hype. All movies were OK, but unworthy of all the praise. I'm preparing my flame suit.

On a scale of one to three stars, I'd give them a solid 3. I found all the characters to be flat, possibly because the plot was so flat. Here they are starting their quest; now here they are on their quest; now here they are battling some bad guys; now here they are battling some other bad guys. The story was just extremely linear. I really wanted to like LOTR, but I never felt any empathy with the characters. Overall though, the movies were very well executed, so it deserved three stars.

The characters in Narnia were much more engaging and believable.

[maestro]

Correction...

C.S. Lewis is.... Harry Potter's OCCULT-MASTER......1st Peter 5:8

try.....Revelation 6:16

...........................2nd Timothy 4:1-4

Hebrews 1:1-9