[PresidentFelon]

Why God is a Republican and Santa Claus is a Democrat

P. J. O'Rourke



I have only one firm belief about the American political system, and that is this: God is a Republican and Santa Claus is a Democrat.

God is an elderly or, at any rate, middle aged male, a stern fellow, patriarchal rather than paternal and a great believer in rules and regulations. He holds men accountable for their actions. He has little apparent concern for the material well being of the disadvantaged. He is politically connected, socially powerful and holds the mortgage on literally everything in the world. God is difficult. God is unsentimental. It is very hard to get into God's heavenly country club.

Santa Claus is another matter. He's cute. He's nonthreatening. He's always cheerful. And he loves animals. He may know who's been naughty and who's been nice, but he never does anything about it. He gives everyone everything they want without the thought of quid pro quo. He works hard for charities, and he's famously generous to the poor. Santa Claus is preferable to God in every way but one: There is no such thing as Santa Claus

[Volunteer]

You beat me to the punch! Good going.

[mnehring]

PJ is So WRONG!

Santa Claus is another matter. He's cute. He's nonthreatening. He's always cheerful. Sounds like Cheney

And he loves animals.What good Republican doesn't?

He may know who's been naughty and who's been nice, but he never does anything about it. Hello, rewarding good and coal for bad?

He gives everyone everything they want without the thought of quid pro quo. He doesn't give anything away, he works for milk and cookies

He works hard for charities, and he's famously generous to the poor. So are Republicans- they give far more to charities than dems. If it were up to Dems, all charities would be abolished and taken over by the government

Santa Claus is preferable to God in every way but one: There is no such thing as Santa Claus..