Nice topic. I have eaten thousands of restaraunt meals in the last 30 odd years and am quite appreciative of good servers. Nobody else has mentioned it but I think men are far better tippers than women. I belong to a international fellowship group that is about 80% women. Everytime I go out to eat with them I notice how chintzey they are. They come from all backgrounds and income levels but I have never been at the table when this group of women has overtipped. I have on a number of occassions gone back to the table and thrown some more money on the table to make it a respectable amount. My experience with dining with men is that nobody wants to look cheap. We remember things like that. With women it doesn't seem to matter as much. What's up with that?
For the most part I agree. Depends on the setting. If you are a male at say a sports bar and a bunch of guys get you instead of the honey, count on 12% or so if lucky. The worst are groups of women esp black women (don't infer anything just saying). We would bribe the hostess not to take them. I was stiffed or tipped in change many times by women.
I have seen the same thing many times.
I recently heard a server complain about her groups of "calculator ladies" who insist on separate checks, then tip 15% to the cent, often requiring that the server break bills for the exact change.
I think that this sort of cheapness goes along with an attitude that emphasizes class distinctions between server and served. The customers are "ladies," the servers are -- well, you know. It's ugly.