[paulat]

For worst song...I also nominate Bobby Goldsboro's "Honey"....

As much as I've enjoyed the Yoko links...I think a truly bad song has to have truly wretched lyrics...not just stunts.

"Muskrat Love" measures up...as does "Honey:"

See the tree how big it's grown
But friend it hasn't been too long
It wasn't big.
I laughed at her and she got mad
The first day that she planted it
' Was just a twig.
The the first snow came
And she ran out to brush the snow away
So it wouldn't die.
Came runnin' in all excited
Slipped and almost hurt herself
I laughed till cried.

She was always young at heart
Kind a dumb and kind a smart
And I loved her so.
I surprised her with a puppy
Kept me up all christmas eve
Two years ago.

And it would sure embarrass her
when I came home from working late
'Cause I would know
That she'd been sittin' there and cryin'.
Over some sad and silly late late show:

And Honey I miss you and I'm being good
And I'd loveto be with you if only I could.

She wrecked the car and she was sad
And so afraid that I'd be mad
But what the heck.
Though I pretended hard to be
Guess you could say she saw through me
And hugged my neck.
I came home unexpectedly
And found her crying needlessly
In the middle of the day
And it was in the early spring
When flowers bloom and robins sing
She went away.

And Honey I miss you and I'm being good . . .

Yes
one day while I wasn't home
While she was there and all alone
The angels came.
Now all I have is memories
Of Honey and I wake up nights
And call her name.
Now my life's an empty stage
Where Honey lived and Honey played
And love grew up.
A small cloud passes over head
And cries down in the flower bed
That Honey loved.

See the tree how big it's grown
. . .

I always loved the "kinda dumb and kinda smart" line....

[Revolting cat!]

Well, since we're talking about teenage tragedy songs (and Honey was indeed one of the worst ones in any category. By the way, did you know that Bobby Goldsboro opened for the Rolling Stones during one of their early US tours?) there was also the Everly Brothers' Ebony Eyes, and the one to end all tragedy songs, Jody Reynolds' Endless Sleep. There were many more, of course, and I think Rhino Records collected some of them on one CD.

[WestVirginiaRebel]

How about:

Someone left the cake out in the rain/I don't think that I can take it...'Cause it took so long to bake it/And I'll never have that recipe again, oh no!

[This Just In]

Well, "Honey" was never sweet, but Muskrat Love's lyrics far outweight Honey in terms of utter stupidity.

Here's just a taste(Pun intended):

Do the jitterbug down in muskrat land
And they shimmy
Sam is so skinny

?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! {:o /

I couldn't bare to print the entire song.