BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA!
7. What causes earthquakes?
A. Intense heat in the Earth's core causes platelets to collide, thereby shaking and splitting the ground above.
B. God inflicts earthquakes on sinners when he is really angry.
8. Why do rivers and springs sometimes dry up?
A. Quite simply, this is the product of the sin of those nearby.
B. The condensation of moisture from the bodies of water into the atmosphere outstrips the amount of rain needed to replenish the bodies.
1. Which of the following are among God’s methods of punishing those who break His commandments?
A. He strikes them with plagues, burning fevers that consume the eyes, pestilence, consumption, blasting, the sword and even mildew.
B. He strikes them with hemorrhoids, scabs, itching, madness and blindness.
C. He sends wild bears to devour their children.
D. Any of the above, depending on His mood.
The Earth has platelets?
Hey, that's part of the blood coagulation cascade system and it's irreducibly complex.
LAVA is the EARTH's BLOOD!