[Disambiguator]

I will leave you to determine what orifice they push them into and why that means some need an emergency room to remove them.

Some ER employees keep lists of items that have been removed from places that they ought not to have been.

IIRC one of the lists included a softball.

[Conservative Texan Mom]

This is a true story. My husband found it on the Internet but it was a recording of a newscaster telling the story. He got to laughing so hard he could hardly finish it. It had to do with gerbils, which I believe gays call feltching. Anyhow, when the receiving partner in this couple had had enough he'd yell, "Armagedon!" That was the signal to retrieve the gerbil. So the other parter would use the "retrieval" instrument. When the gerbil refused to come out they had the brilliant idea of lighting a match and holding it at the end of the "retrieval" instrument thinking the gerbil would be attracted to the light. Instead the match ignited a pocket of methane gas which had a chain reaction and blasted the gerbil out of the guy's butt hitting his partner in the nose. They went to the emergency room to be treated for 2nd and 3rd degree burns and a broken nose.

[Tokra]

Some ER employees keep lists of items that have been removed from places that they ought not to have been.

TV Remote Control(said he "accidentally" sat on it!)
Cucumber
Broom
Light Bulb(ouch!)
Flashlight (turned on & beam pointing out!)