Posted on 10/17/2005 7:21:55 AM PDT by Millee
Brother Kenneth Hoagland had heard all the stories about prom-night debauchery at his Long Island high school: students putting down $10,000 to rent a party house in the Hamptons; pre-prom cocktail parties followed by a trip to the dance in a liquor-loaded limo; fathers chartering a boat for their children's late-night "booze cruise."
Enough was enough, Hoagland said. So the principal of Kellenberg Memorial High School canceled the spring prom in a 2,000- word letter to parents.
"It is not primarily the sex/booze/drugs that surround this event, as problematic as they might be; it is, rather, the flaunting of affluence, assuming exaggerated expenses, a pursuit of vanity for vanity's sake - in a word, financial decadence," Hoagland said, fed up with what he called the "bacchanalian aspects."
"Each year, it gets worse - becomes more exaggerated, more expensive, more emotionally traumatic," he added. "We are withdrawing from the battle and allowing the parents full responsibility. (The school) is willing to sponsor a prom but not an orgy."
The move brought a mixed, albeit passionate, reaction from students and parents at the Roman Catholic school, which is owned by the Society of Mary (Marianists), a religious order of priests and brothers.
"I don't think it's fair, obviously, that they canceled prom," said senior Alyssa Johnson of Westbury. "There are problems with the prom, but I don't think their reasons or the actions they took solved anything."
Hoagland began talking about the future of the prom last spring after 46 Kellenberg seniors made a $10,000 down payment on a $20,000 rental in the Hamptons for a post-prom party. When school officials found out, they forced the students to cancel the deal; the kids got their money back, and the prom went on as planned. But some parents went ahead and rented a Hamptons house anyway, Hoagland said.
Amy Best, an associate professor of sociology and anthropology at George Mason University in Virginia and the author of "Prom Night: Youth, Schools and Popular Culture," said this is the first time she has heard of a school canceling the prom for such reasons.
"A lot of people have lamented the growing consumption that surrounds the prom," she said, noting it is not uncommon for students to pay $1,000 on the dance and surrounding costs: expensive dresses, tuxedo rentals, flowers, limousines, pre- and post-prom parties.
Edward Lawson, the father of a Kellenberg senior, said he and other parents are discussing whether to organize a prom without the sponsorship of the 2,500- student school.
"I don't think they have a right to judge what goes on after the prom," he said. "They put everybody in the category of drinkers and drug addicts."
Some parents picking up their children on a recent afternoon said they support Hoagland.
"The school has excellent values," said Margaret Cameron of Plainview, N.Y. "We send our children here because we support the values and the administration of the school, and I totally back everything they do."
"if it IS a catholic school in more than name only, wouldn't it be more concerned with the moral issues and the law violations than in what one does with one's own money?"
It is indeed a true Catholic School...in name and deed, which is why the prinicpal took the action he did.
Respectfully, I believe you are missing the point...perhaps it was the way the principal was quoted in the AP article, (imagine that).
Wht's wrong with just going out to the beach and having a 'bonfire party'?
I finally phoned the office and told them if they couldn't quiet them down, I was calling the cops. That did it. In a few minutes the noise was pretty much gone.
"As a parent, I find the whole thing to be disgusting. The Principal who made the statement about the financial decadennce was a fool. "
Please see me previous post.
Thanks for the insight - I didn't know that. Just a sad situation all the way around... The school is probably right for canceling the prom.
This is not a "children" problem. It is a "parent" problem. The "children" - young men and women - are emulating what they see and hear every day. This goes back to Baby Boom parents - some of the most irresponsible no-account people the USA has ever spawned. Too many Boomers (and I am one) have continued to live their lost adolescence through their children, perpetuating the ills that have come home to roost in our culture.
Parents who should be at least sheltering and moderating the negative influences of our sick culture are instead promoting and glorifying them. This is exemplified not only by the prom, but by excesses including 8th grade dances, 8th grade "graduation" and even kindergarten "graduation" ceremonies followed by lavish parties and spending. This type of behavior I think is more prevalent on the coasts in wealthy enclaves and is truly disgusting.
i'm not so sure that spending money is a sin, or an indicator of moral turpitude. i think it's an individual decision and not in and of itself wrong.
i mean, who said that the expenditure of private funds for private purposes was subject to a popularity contest?
Ah! there we have it. Moral depravity is fine as long as the Capitalists stay home.
Mao would be proud of how far our nation's schools have come.
Yea, the Hampton Police are going to bust the kids of the judges, lawyers and bankers that own that place for violations of the law... That's a good one.
Fact is the last chance these kids had was a moral education, which obviously didn't take. Couple hundred Paris Hilton's in the making..... They may never have a want of anything material in their lives, but at the end of the day based on the bahviors they are intending to engage in... all that wealth and privalege will be wasted.
Wealth is not evil, however to be born into so much of it, and not remotely have a clue about it and what it can do (other than serving ones own greed and lust) is truly a waste. There was a time the wealthy groomed their children for the responsibility of weath.... In fact Andrew Carnegie said it best that excessive wealth is a "SACRED TRUST"... amazing what a few generations will do.
When children are not raised to understand that all good things, including money, belong to God... not you. They have not a clue how to handle it remotely properly. If you view it as your birthright, you could not be more wrong. When you recognize it is not yours, but you are merely a caretaker of it, then you can apply it and use it in a way that will make a difference.
I posted a story a few months ago about a senior party where the girls dressed up as playboy bunnies. Mostly parent approved. It boggles the mind.
You don't see anything immoral about spending $20,000 to rent a house for a party while children starve to death in other parts of the world? It may not be the rich guys fault that some poor person is hungry but if one has the means, then one, if they have any inclination to actually living the gospel, would find a better way to spend the $$ than on a one night party.
perhaps the reporter put a slant into the story (whoda thunk?). my point is that the story gives the impression that the principal holds the expression of class wealth as a greater sin than he does pre-marital sex/underage drinking, and illegal drugs.
You are welcome.
"The school is probably right for canceling the prom."
I believe they are.
Nice to see someone actually "walk the walk" while "talking the talk".
Of course you can't presume that. Such a presumption is as stupid as your presuming to call Brother Kenneth a jerk.
As someone from a working-class home who received a scholarship to a school full of wealthy kids, I can attest to the level of humiliation experienced by a young man at a prom when he cannot afford to rent a personal limo or wear a tailored Armani tuxedo or the other hundred incidentals that go along with such a prom.
The Christian Brothers are a society who promote plainness, humility and service as part of their ethos.
$20,000 weekend rentals in posh resort communities are not consistent with the charism of the school or the society.
Brother Kenneth cannot prevent a teenager from sneaking Jack Daniels from his dad's liquor cabinet and fornicating with his girlfriend in the backseat of a car. That's his parents' responsibility and a pastor/teacher can only counsel the teen and his parents, not intervene.
What he can prevent is parents of his students' blatantly contravening the discipline and working against the message he is trying to instill - especially when they show their kids that throwing money around is the way one should proceed in life.
"perhaps the reporter put a slant into the story (whoda thunk?)."
Exactly right. Understandable how one could possibly form a different conclusion as per bias of AP.
Glad I could clear it up.
geeze, the guy says that sex/booze/drugs ARE problems...
Again, a school official tries to do the right thing and people dump on him.
#71 - nicely written. thanx.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.