Still in Buffalo, NY -- I've realized that agreeing to pay for beer was a huge strategic mistake. I cannot keep the Mounties sober enough long for them to pack their gear, and I've simply given up on trying to wake Stu up. He snores and hasn't showered in 4 days.
The illegal immigrants have gotten into the beer as well. Pablo #5 kept hollering "Mas cervesa!" and all of them are singing some Mexican drinking song. The management of the hotel is complaining.
I'm running out of money and options. This invasion of Zimbabwe has taken a huge hit already. Looks like Mugabe might win after all.
Written in sadness, your friend, Laz
*Still* in Buffalo, NY -- Well, I finally got most of my soldiers sobered up. I can't sober Stu the homeless man up, because, frankly, have you ever seen a stuttering man with the shakes? It ain't pretty.
The Mounties have formed something closely resembling a line, and although their uniforms are disheveled and dirty, I think they'll do. The illegal immigrants (who I've dubbed the Pablo Platoon) are eager to start carrying lumber to the work site. It took quite a lot of pidgen-Spanish to let them know that there is no lumber and we're not building a house.
I've started to purchase weaponry for this expidition. So far, I have a single-shot .22 rifle, a pump shotgun, and 2 BB-pistols. Not bad, considering my funds are down to $22.73.
Mobilization for the Zimbabwean war is underway!
Your friend, Laz