Watch what they do, not what they say. I grew up with them. I am well aware of the hypocracy. I think that they perpetuate this to limit competition for those rich children affected by their mothers' use of valium or the handyman. There are only so many poor or middle class kids with an IQ above 145 who can get into the private schools on scholarships. Those kids with an IQ of 130-145 can get into the better public schools, assuming that their parents make an effort. But the kids with IQ's below that are at a real disadvantage competing with their wealthy peers.
Add in the failure of public schools to teach children proper english or fully Americanize them and the Kids at Columbia Prep, Dwight, or Calhoun are set.
PS. Before anyone asks; I went to Ramaz, Buckley and Collegiate.
And you point is, what? Life isn't fair? Life is what it's always been, the winners are the brilliant, the clever and the ruthless.
Collegiate? Isn't that where Jim Carroll went?