[Cboldt]

Doesn't the COAST GUARD mean it's on the COAST?

Well, "coast" covers lots of ground. CG operates on the Great Lakes, for example, as well as larger navigable rivers.

http://www.uscgboating.org/safety/aton/offices.htm

"Waters of Juristriction" "Coast Guard" <- I haven't googled it, but would expect some fruit.

[OldFriend]

It would seem that I know little enough about the matter to become a FNC host-ette.