Adultery Is Killing the American Family

Illinois Leader ^ | 9/22/05 | Nathan Tabor

[HitmanLV]

You really think everyone is a weak sinner with a taste for flesh?

Hey, I resemble that remark! When it comes to my dealings with women, I'm a liar and a coward, too.

They love my frankness about it, though. ;-)

[durasell]

Mine is expense accounts.

[Nonstatist]

Not according to Jesus..That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

Yes, but in Judaism, for example, one is judged by one's actions and not by one's thoughts. I , myself, would have a bit of a hard time condemning people only for what theyre thinking.

[marajade]

I'm switching to yours instead of mine. I'd much rather expensive stuff then battling weight and drunkeness.

[Asfarastheeastisfromthewest...]

And I thought I was a cynic!

Contrary to common belief that we (meaning mankind in general) are basically good, God seems to hold a different view.

Jeremiah 17:9 The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?

[kstewskis]

My poison isn't flesh, its food and wine. LOL. Maybe I shouldn't be left alone with a refrigerator full of food and cellar full of wine.

[Jaysun]

may not carry the stigma socially but....ya gotta answer to someone one day!!! Virtue is virtue and doesn't change with the times no matter who says what.

That's very true. Still, there's a lot to be said for the power of social stigmas. One can be virtuous today and think nothing of a woman exposing her ankles, for example. That isn't to say that the various social stigmas have always made sense, but I think they're powerful nonetheless.

As for my own family, we're much more traditional than most. My wife stays at home with the children, she does the housework, I'm in charge, etc. I suspect that even some of our fellow FReepers would see our arrangement as backwards or oppressive but I don't give a damn. The apparent alternative is infidelity, abortion, divorce, delinquent children, and so on.

[marajade]

Who is being deceitful? I know exactly what kinds of sins I commit.

[durasell]

I've been traveling and working with women for -- damn, almost twenty years -- liquor has flowed, late nights of work have happened, and long drives in the middle of the night -- I believe the most intimate I've ever gotten with any of them is a hug after something work-related good happened.

[marajade]

I should .bmp that image and print it using my color printer to give me the courage to drink diet drinks instead of consuming a six pack of light beer. Do you think its a good strategy to employ?

[durasell]

Food and/or liquor bought with an expense account always tastes better -- bring on the Louie Tres! Bring on the Wellington!

[kstewskis]

I think it's a great idea!

Maybe I'll join you in that diet :)

[kstewskis]

(and the "diet" drinks w/ Splenda are really good too)

[marajade]

I kinda like Diet Rootbeer and the new Coke and Sprite zero. Have you tried them?

[Black Tooth]

Yes it is killing America. This country was great before females went into the work place in mass. Since then, most work places have turned into cheating divorce factories.

[durasell]

Can I get some names of companies, I may be looking for a new job.

[Asfarastheeastisfromthewest...]

One more question: Where does God state exactly that a married man shouldn't be alone with a woman who isn't his wife?

I don't think it states that anywhere in scripture. I was just suggesting that Billy Graham and others have instituted that practice to avoid temptation and the appearance of temptation and improprieties. So, it's not scriptural exactly, but it is inferred from the meaning of scriptures such as 2 Timothy 2:22 (flee youthful lusts) and 1 Corinthians 6:18 (flee fornication).

[marajade]

Oh please. WWII was won because of women in the workforce. Try another argument.

[marajade]

Not every interaction with the opposite sex means we lust or fornicate.

[HitmanLV]

Sure.

Basically it comes down first to what your cheating partner wants to do. Do they want to stay with you & try to work it out, or do they want to ditch you?

If they want to ditch you, that's that.

If they want to reconcile, then basically you have to decide if you want to absorb and spend the mental, emotional, etc energy to try to reconcile.

Now, figure on a scale of 1 to 10, it takes a '5' level of effort to sustain your part of a healthy relationship. All I mean by that is the normal level of energy, not '1/2' energy or anything. Also, your partner has to spend a similar level of energy to keep you happy.

Now add the fact that in an adultery situation, the cheated upon spouse more likely than not has to spend an additional level of energy to try and heal the relationship after the betrayal. So now, that level rises to a 7, 8, 9 or more.

The other party has to accommodate also, so that level rises to a 7, 8, 9 or so.

Here's the thing. A person can spend that added energy and deal with it & maybe it will work or maybe not, or they can cut their loss and cultivate a new relationship with a new person and not have to spend that extra energy, bringing back the energy commitment back down to a 5 or so (a normal, non-encumbered relationship), & maybe it will work or maybe not.