[Hoplite]

It's a good thing that meat grows in those little plastic packages on trees to be picked with migrant labor and sent to grocery stores.

Try as I might for the last couple of years, I still can't grow bacon out in the backyard.

I think the soil is too kosher or something.

[Salamander]

"Try as I might for the last couple of years, I still can't grow bacon out in the backyard."

Seeds can be fussy things.
Make sure you aren't planting the Bacon-Bits® upside down....:)