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To: lawgirl
Hey, I worked in large corporate law firms in nyc for most of the 1990s into the 2000s. I know many women who practiced law and overwhelmingly they were either in poor marriages (mostly because of neglect), divorced (mostly because of neglect), or alone and no/few prospects.

I said elsewhere on this thread that a lot of men don't want to humor the serious time demands of a career galpal or mate. I don't blame them - I don't want to, either.

Most men know enough to know when they find out what you do that you won't be around often (that is, you won't be around for him). That may or may not be unfair, but it is true just the same.

And even if it is unfair, men can get away with it. You're competing for sexual attention with many, many women who are attractive, young, fit and with traditional time schedules. All else being equal (looks, demeanor, personality), most men will reject the woman who is undependable (because she never knows exactly how late she will be working, is prone to suddenly canceling on plans or vacations because or work, etc) in favor of a woman who is more dependable when it comes to that kind of stuff.

One 'partner track' woman at my firm was very attractive and married, but worked very often and very hard. Too many late nights at the office meant ordering a crappy meal out. In time she wasn't nearly as attractive as she once was. We suddenly found out that her hubby left her for a younger and attractive (though not as attractive as she was at her peak) woman who worked for him (different field).

While most felt bad for her, I didn't. The truth was she terribly neglected her spouse so he replaced her with someone who wouldn't neglect him. I applaud that move, actually, whether it's a man or a woman who does the replacing - neglectful, bad spouses shouldn't be rewarded, they should be replaced.

So she got the career she wanted, and he got the spouse he wanted. Ultimately it's fair, even if it's unpalatable. One of my golden rules of life is 'everyone tends to get what they deserve, give or take a bit.' That's what happened in their case. I lost track of her but when I left the firm, she had no mate and no takers, and was negative about relationships. Sad thing is, even if she hit the gym and restored her looks, it wouldn't be enough. She just isn't selling what most men are buying.
452 posted on 09/17/2005 11:32:01 AM PDT by HitmanLV
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To: HitmanNY
She just isn't selling what most men are buying.

Basically its career over relationship which is sad.
When your on your death bed I doubt if most people think about the award they got from work but who they loved and were loved by

that being said

There were ( and are) a lot of men who WANTED their women to Pursue that good paying career because THEY WANTED THE EXTRA CASH.
That was until they found out that the cottage up north, a motorcyle, a big screen TV didn't compensate for companionship, communication, a homecooked meal and snuggling time in front of the fire.

614 posted on 09/17/2005 2:20:26 PM PDT by apackof2 (Never underestimate the power of a fuzzy friend!)
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