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We've hosted kids from Belarus for 6 years during the Summer. Some were from affluent homes, others poor. But I do know what you mean about them having a way of making you angry.

I had the advantage of being able to speak Russian so most of our experiences went pretty well. Some other host families never seemed to connect to their kids and they spent the whole time in a state of conflict.

After having spent a lot of time with Russian girls, who are certainly going to be gorgeous, my gut impression is that I'm not sure what it will take to satisfy them. I don't mean specifically such as materially or sexually, I mean in life in general. I get the distinct impression that a relationship with some of them would be a temporary proposition at best, and high maintenance. So much for a mail-order PHD supermodel bride ;)

With the boys, they were merely mischevious and naturally wanted all they could get while they were here. I was surprised to find that with both boys and girls that even though they greatly enjoyed their Summers, they didn't want to come and live here. And I have to admit that some facets of their life over there are simpler and better than over here. As long as you have a source of money, you can live well over there. Very well indeed.

Those are great experiences. But it's a tad different when you have watched a video of "your child" in another country for a year or so and awaited the first meeting with that child for at least that long.
I mean you are into this for the long-term and well into the hereafter.

And I spoke plenty of Russian when our kids came home. But it didn't stop them from setting fires, explaining to me how to torture a cat, or spitting on me and refusing any food from my hands(while later stealing it from the fridge at night), lying in the obvious face of evidence to the contrary, and quite frankly, making the use of the word "child" seem to be completely ridiculous.

In the meantime you take this child out in public and they become little angels and everyone is fawning over them, having been charmed into oblivion by a mere child. You begin to want to take the last piece of furniture the child set on fire with you on outings to show everyone.

It's very difficult to humanely parent a child who is not attached to you and actually more or less hates you. You just spent a small fortune to add a child to your family and you have been dying to put your arms around this kid for a year now, and she comes home and spits on you and bites you.

We actually did a television talk show about being afraid of your (adopted) child.

Tania is 16 now and doing pretty well, though probably harboring some oppositional stuff beyond the norm for a teen. I remember well how much I despised her at one point, though. Our attachment counselor told me to put her in daycare and she only lasted a few days. They called to tell me she was tripping the other children and laughing at them when they fell. She was like that movie, The Bad Seed, and I am not kidding. I would never have made it without hurting her if not for my husband and our church.