LOL!!!
"Why mass fornication is permitted in paradise and not alcohol, I have no idea."
No, see, Allah's final trick is that the good Musselman does indeed get 72 (now 80) virgins.
But that's just it.
They're virgins by definition. That's how they're defined.
And that's how they STAY too.
So, he doesn't get any down here, in preparation for blowing himself up so that he can go up there and not get any.
Allah's got a pretty wicked sense of humor.
(The proof of this, of course, is the camel.)