You don't ask doctors or hospital personnel what happened and why it happened. You get an outside opinion from someone (or more), preferably on the other side of the state/further away.
I almost lost my sister several years ago when her ob-gyn nicked her intestine during a hysterectomy. If my brother-in-law hadn't taken his sister's husband who is a surgeon to the hospital while she was in critical condition, having languished and worsening day by day (leakage from her lower intestine into her lower body), to exert some pressure and get some cat scans done, they might very well have let her die. In her desperate condition and with double pneumonia, she had to undergo surgery to repair the intestine. She made a slow recovery. If she hadn't been in the habit of walking 4 miles a day, she might not have been strong enough to make it through. And she had two prayer warriors, just two, myself and my granddaughter.
Her own doctor and the hospital may have come through for her before it was too late, but if you don't have a loving advocate who will fight for you, your chances are not as good. There are some things we can never know. I thank God and credit my brother-in-law and his sister's husband for saving my sister's life.
I'm sorry, but you have to know what you are dealing with sometimes when doctors may be at fault but you don't know, but have to act.
Deep in my heart, I always hoped they didn't sue the doctor or the hospital, even though they were clearly at fault. My sister and her husband are very well off financially and have been blessed abundantly, and that is enough. She made a complete recovery and leads a full life. I've never had the heart to ask her because it's really none of my business. Part of me is curious, and part of me doesn't want to know.
That is just another perspective. My son got hit by a car when he was a toddler, and I was aware he could develop complications in the future, but I never wanted to sue anybody because I was so darn thankful God spared his life, and I believed he had better chances for recovery if we didn't sue. My husband just went along with me, maybe because he felt guilty for not watching him better. There was insurance coverage, but we didn't have a whole lot of money, and none to spare. He did have headaches for a short period a few years later which may or may not have been related, I prayed a lot, we had tests run, he got better without any medical intervention, and has gone on and been blessed abundantly financially in his life.
I am not suggesting that the person who started this thread should follow my line of thinking. They have suffered horribly, emotionally and financially, and their and their son's suffering may only be beginning. Sometimes faith pulls us through and sometimes there are silver linings to the deepest, darkest clouds. Faith can move mountains.
Life is such a precious gift, even if it isn't perfect.
From your keyboard to mfreddy's ears.
I didn't ask for the results/answers he was given; only if he has asked, back then. And yes, it would also be normal to call in other doctors or a specialist. And most hospitals have patient advocates, who are supposed to help the person and/or the patient's family.