The flames were justified. I have no problem with your opinion that your wife should not work outside of the home. I am a stay-at-home Mom myself. And what you and your wife choose to do is none of my business anyway.
My problem with your remark was that it was insulting to men like my husband and your refusal to acknowledge it further justifies my condemnation of it. You could have been a gentleman and apologized for it, but you didn't. And that speaks volumes.
Nothing worse than a perpetually insulted woman fishing for unwarranted apologies.