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I agree its unfair to place blame on one sex or the other.

As far as infidelity goes, it's just a function of more opportunity. The most important factor in whether a person will cheat on their mate isn't their morals, and it isn't whether they have a 'cheating' personality (though that's a factor). It's being presented with the opportunity to cheat.

I think most people who do cheat on their mates genuinely don't plan on doing it. A lot of factors come into play: maybe they are dissatisfied with their mate, maybe they had a fight with them, maybe their mate alienated them somehow, and an opportunity to have uncluttered sex with someone they find appealing presents itself.

I think in most cases when it happens, it genuinely seems like a good idea at the time, even though it's a rotten idea. That's why I never understood it when people say 'don't you trust me?' or 'we have trust' - infidelity has almost nothing to do with trust at the early stages. Anybody who thinks so doesn't know human nature.

In any case, I wouldn't welcome back a cheater for one simple reason: the energy I have to expend to try and make that relationship work again is probably many times the energy I have to expend to cultivate a new relationship with a new woman (and that new woman doesn't bring me that baggage).

It's just the smart approach: if I were to dedicate emotional resources say at a level of 80 (on a scale from 1-100) in order to make my broken relationship while again, I can dedicate much less than that (say a 40) and wind up with a fresh, attractive, new woman who doesn't bring me that particular issue to deal with. It's a no-brainer, really.