I'd nail it to a 2x4 covered in cactus needles, then wrap him tighly around a telephone pole with barbed wire, have water trickle down him, and introduce him to the basics of electrical wiring- hot wire first.
Brainstorming!! Gotta love it! This is getting better!!
Some kid going by the screenname "your nephew" just posted a comment on the blog...
then links to his site with this pic...some pretty unsanitized comments being made there
http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=lost_seahawk_05