I like that graphic!
Time heals all wounds, yes. But that's not really intended to mean that you should tie Time magazine around your sprained ankle. It's a figure of speech, you see, not meant to be taken literally. I have heard, however, that Newsweek is good for gout.
Today you'll start a new rock group, named "SPAM Catapult", and kick things off with a really smokin' number combining the best aspects of reggae, rap, and polka.
Noodle day, today! Have you tried some of those new "fresh" tomato-basil linguine? Of course not. But today, you will!
Big career move today! Oddly, your decision will be somehow related to a pamphlet called "Goat Herding Made Easy."
Ian McHarg once said, "Man is a blind, witless, anthropocentric clod who inflicts lesions upon the earth." You will come up with a brilliant rebuttal to this, soon. You will say: "I know you are, but what am I?"
Today may fail to live up to your expectations, but remember: it's what it's not that makes it what it is.
Today you will happen upon a prediction by Nostradamus which will scare the living daylights out of you. As well it should, although how a medieval seer foresaw your exact name is anybody's guess.
Your relatives may try to have you committed, today. Luckily, through a series of amusing misadventures, they will fail. You and your large invisible friend will simply shrug it off, of course, since it's not in your disposition to hold a grudge, and you both donate to Free Republic.
A very pudgy cat will annoy you, today.
Today you will notice yet another large freshly-dug mound of dirt in your neighbor's back yard. It's probably nothing -- he probably just digs at night if he can't get to sleep. I know I do.
You're having trouble getting your elderly relatives to pay attention to you. Have you tried talking with a Scandinavian accent and using a soap bubble machine? That, and accordion music, always do the trick for me.
Bad day to call someone a "whiney gen-x cybercowboy." After the FReepathon's better, for that one. |