by O'rya Hyde-Keller
June 25 - July 1, 2003
When Beth Niernberg began to search for a mohel to perform her second son's bris, she braced herself for a strange reaction. The Jewish circumcision ceremony has to be performed eight days after birth, so she didn't have time to track down someone who had dealt with gay and lesbian families before. The mohel she found was "not exactly young and hip," she says. But when she explained to him that her son Nicholas would live in a household with Beth, a Jewish lesbian, his two non-Jewish gay dads, and their other son Zander, the old mohel didn't skip a beat. "Great," he said. "I can add this to my résumé. Co-parenting. Is there a hyphen in that?"
In her late twenties, Beth decided she was ready to have kids. She met Phillip Hernandez and discovered that he and his partner, James Slayton, longed to have children, too. They joked about doing it together, and one day the conversation turned serious. The three drew up a formal agreement that was not legally binding but would serve as a framework for this family for the next 18-plus years. They now have two sons, 3 1/2-year-old Zander and 17-month-old Nicholas, and another son on the way. The boys are each biologically related to one of their dads, but Beth thinks the distinction isn't important and balks when people ask her to clarify.
Part of their agreement was that the three would live together and find a house with enough space to accommodate a future partner for Beth. She would stay home and take care of the children while Phil and Jim, both psychiatrists, would continue to work, providing most of the financial support. "The idea of finishing a master's, working full-time, and having a baby did not exactly appeal to me," says Beth. They didn't want a day care baby. "So it made sense for me to stay home and for us to find a way to live together."
What a surprise!! NOT!! The "2 dads" are both psychiatrists!
I'm stunned to discover they were both psychiatrists. A degree in psychology or practice in psychiatry ought to constitute prima facie evidence of mental illness.