"Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son".
"What er we supposed to do, ya moron?"
"Im not kidding. This is my job!"
"My advice to you is to start drinking heavily"
"I hate those guys"
"Put Niedermeyer on it. He's a sneaky little s**t just like you are".
"Thank you god!"
"They took the bar! The whole f***ing bar!"
"I'm in love with a retard. Is he bigger than me?"
"Try to guess what I am now?"
Although not directly quoted, the "double, secret probation" line is a very well-known phrase from Animal House.
My all-time favorite movie line was given by Brian Keith in the Mountain Men: "I've been powerful confused for a month or two but I ain't never been lost."