"Hey...Do Ya Wanna Hear a Polish Joke???"----MEMORIAL DAY 2005--Thread#4

5/25/05 | redrock--(some old geezer in Utah...laughing...thinking about his friend)

[Amish with an attitude]

I once knew a Polish guy confined to an Iron Lung. He was my grandfather.

[Fresh Wind]

I guy walked into a bar, sat down, and started drinking some beers. After a while, nature called and he went into the men's room. When he returned, he said to the bartender: "I just saw the strangest thing. There was a black guy with a white penis in the men's room". The bartender replied "Oh, that was Kowalski the coal miner. He just got back from his honeymoon!"

[Oatka]

Thanks for the story - and the jokes.

The one I remember was the supposed headline in a Polish newspaper. "Plane crashes in cemetery, thousands of bodies found."

What always got me about these Polish jokes, even the ones that were nasty, was that the Americans of Polish background either laughed at the good ones or shrugged the nasty ones off as jerks.

No whining, no claims of victimhood, just a humourous take on their own ethnic foibles. When the Hispanic and Blacks can get to that point, then you know they have arrived.

[redrock]

Was he in the V.A. Hospital in Long Beach, California??

redrock

[68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub]

"We Can Be Heroes.....Just For One Day"
MEMORIAL DAY 2005--Thread # 1

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1408120/posts

"Just Another Drunk Indian..."
MEMORIAL DAY--Thread # 2

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1408698/posts

"Chocolate Chip Cookies"
MEMORIAL DAY 2005--Thread # 3

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1409491/posts

"Hey...Do Ya Wanna Hear a Polish Joke???"
MEMORIAL DAY 2005--Thread # 4

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1410220/posts


redrock annual Memorial Day threads PING

[raybbr]

Two polacks are digging a ditch. Every once in a while the foreman comes by and checks on them.

Finally, Stan says, "How come we're down here digging and he just walks by every once in a while?"

Josef says, "I don't know. Why don't you ask him."

So, Stan climbs out of the ditch and walks up to the foreman and asks, "How come we're down there digging all day and you're up here just watching?"

The foreman looks around and tells Stan to pick up the shovel. Stan does. Then the foreman walks over to a tree and puts his hand on it. He then tells Stan, "Go ahead. Hit my hand."

Stan looks at him, shrugs and takes a big swing. At the last instant the foreman pulls his hand away and Stan smacks the tree - his arms quivering from the shock.

"That's why you and Josef are down there digging and I'm up here."

Stan climbs back into the ditch. Josef asks, "What did he tell you?"

Stan tells Josef to pick up the shovel. Josef does.

Stan looks around, can't find a tree. He puts his hand on his forehead and says, "Go ahead. Hit my hand."

[hattend]

Gee, I wonder why so many people think Republicans are bigots?

Are you a bigot telling Polish jokes if you're Polish?

Better tell Chris Rock (black jokes), George Lopez (Mexican jokes), John Leguizamo (gay life jokes) and Jeff Foxworthy (redneck jokes). They'll all have to change their comedy acts. It might be non-PC and offend somebody.

[Taft in '52]

Here's some vintage East Bloc humor:

In 1982, during the regime of Communist dictator Wojciech Jaruzelski, a Russian, an American, and a Polack were employed in a factory in Poland. One day, the Polack showed up two and a half hours late. "Sorry, pals," he remarked. "I had to stand in line for a ham."
"What's a line?" inquired the American.
"What's a ham?" asked the Russian.

[daku]

did you hear about the Polak who locked his keyes in his car ?

took him six hours to get his family out

Oatka wrote

"What always got me about these Polish jokes, even the ones that were nasty, was that the Americans of Polish background either laughed at the good ones or shrugged the nasty ones off as jerks.

No whining, no claims of victimhood, just a humourous take on their own ethnic foibles. When the Hispanic and Blacks can get to that point, then you know they have arrived."

as am American of Polish descent I appreciate that thought

[Elpasser]

Ahem. If you're going to tell tacky ethnic jokes, they're "Poles," not "Polacks." Calling someone a Polack is derogatory -- the functional equivalent of "Nigg*r."

Now you know.

I thought this kind of humor had long ago gone the way of All in the Family and Archie Bunker.

[stand watie]

we TEXICANS tell those same stories on the OKIES. (you know those folks noth of the 'ole muddy Red???)

my favorite is the one where:

an okie was out hunting & came upon on an UNclad lovely, sunbathing.

he said "are you GAME".

she said that she was. so he shot her.

free dixie,sw

[bibarnes]

I good friend of mine named Bob Ogonowski had a looseleaf binder that he collected Polish jokes in. The first page had this to say, "Remember the American Flag is held up by a Pole".

[chapin2500]

How bout an Osama joke?

When Osama Bin Laden died, he was met at the Pearly Gates by George Washington, who slapped him across the face and yelled, "How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped conceive"

Patrick Henry approached, punched him in the nose and shouted, "You wanted to end our liberties but you failed".

James Madison followed, kicked him in the groin and said,"This is why I allowed our government to provide for the common defence!"

Thomas Jefferson was next. He beat Osama with a long cane and snarled, "It was evil men like you who inspired me to write the Declaration of Independence."

The beatings and thrashings continued as George Mason, James Monroe and 66 other early Americans unleashed their anger on the terrorist leader.

As Osama lay bleeding and in pain, an Angel appeard. Bin Laden said, "This is not what you promised me."

The Angel replied, "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you in Heaven. What did you think I said?"

[Lady Jag]

Please, God, let more people have the same attitude as Stan.

[redrock]

"...72 Virginians .."

LOL!!!!

redrock

[redrock]

Actually...I was always told by Stan...(and by my Aunt who was from Poland)...that 'Polak' is how you say it in Poland.

The people in Poland don't seem to mind the word....here's a website from one of their Companies....POLAK

My Polish is very rudamentary....but it seems to have something to do with Babies.

redrock

[ONETWOONE]

So true and my stepdad, a proud WW2 Army Air Corp vet, passed away this past Veteran's Day. And that's no joking matter.

[redrock]

Stan was one of a kind.

....but you would hope for more like him.

redrock