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That was the worst remake ever. Mark Wahlberg in the role Charlton Heston immortalized. Pathetic. The original was spectacular and who could forget Heston's famed "Get your hands off me you damned, dirty ape."

Heston was and is a real actor. Wahlberg is just a wanna-be. The only good movie he did was "The Italian Job." Anyone else notice how he always seems out of breath in all his movies?

The difference is, there was no need for another Planet of the Apes and I knew it would suck from the get go. Tim Burton showed with Mars Attacks! that sci fi was not his thing. Fantasy is.

When word that Mars Attacks! was in the pipeline, it was exciting. There had not been a good, old fashioned alien invasion movie since the remake of Invaders From Mars in the eighties. Here it was, the icon of all the cheesy sci fi cliches from my youth being made real, up there on the silver screen. The classic giant brained headed Martians landing in bubble topped flying saucers, burning a swath across the Earth, kidnapping nubile Earth women, swatting Earthly armies, unleashing giant insects on the helpless population. Then they wildly impossible recovery and counterattack carrying tanks and troops on huge Saturn V type rockets to Mars!

Then it came, dumped like a steaming turd onto theaters everywhere, this pathetic Dr. Strangelove wannabe. Oh how horrid this turkey was! Even Independence Day was more watchable.

It is my secret dream to become a movie producer. One flick I would push for is a proper version of Mars Attacks, played in the spirit of Earth Versus the Flying Saucers or War of the Worlds, set not in some bizarre day glo mixture of the sixties and the present day but firmly in 1962. I would use actual clips of JFK, and mix them with an actor, to create a press conference discussing the threat, and proper military uniforms and equipment of the day. It would be great. Too bad it will never get made.