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May I make like Paul Harvey and tell the rest of the story:

"One day Lance missed his freedom and good paying union job. Kissing a sleeping Natalie, while leaving a goodbye note on the dresser, he quietly left town.
Natalie was upset till she saw a middle aged Freeper across the street, mowing his lawn with his shirt off. Her eyes feasted on his manly hairy chest, ignoring the beer belly that half hid his NRA belt buckle. Rivelets of sweat coursed down his sides, leaving tracks across his "Boycott Jane Fonda, Traitor B#tch" tattoos. That afternoon, after she had come to know the middle aged, balding Freeper, she called in and quit her job. Months passed as her bliss and joy grew. But alas, all was not well. The Freeper grew weary of selling off his gun collection so he could buy the increasing amount of Viagra it took to please her. "Damn he thought, this cop pension don't cover all the stuff it takes to please this woman". Soon, they both left town, the Freeper seeking a decent paying job with health benefits, while Natalie sought a surgeon who could flatten her head to carry the beer, needed to please her man. (neer neer neer). See if anyone can pick that up !!!!