Posted on 04/30/2005 5:56:16 AM PDT by tuffydoodle
Nursing mom gets unwelcome reception
FW mall says security firm made a mistake
10:37 PM CDT on Friday, April 29, 2005
By KARIN KELLY / WFAA-TV
For many mothers, breastfeeding is the most natural thing in the world.
But it turned into an embarassing situation that angered a North Texas woman this week after she said a mall security guard harassed her.
Adrian Sparks was shopping at Hulen Mall Thursday, and decided to discreetly nurse her eight-month-old baby under a blanket in the food court.
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Karin Kelly reports "The security guard came over and asked me to stop, and either go to the restroom or to leave," Sparks said.
The guard told Sparks a food court customer had complained, even though Sparks was covered with a blanket.
"I told him it was perfectly legal for me to nurse my child," Sparks said. "And that they sell clothes more revealing that what I was doing right here."
Of course, it is legal - but soon another manager approached.
"He said, 'well those rules don't apply because we're a private facility,'" she recalled.
Friends who breastfeed have rushed in for support.
"The human race wouldn't exist without breast milk," said nursing mom Rachel Tarbutton.
Some are members of La Leche League, an organization that supports mother's milk for health and bonding benefits..
"To know that she is getting everything she needs from me, from my body, is (important)," Sparks said.
Mall officials said the incident was not normal procedure, and that t heir new security company made a mistake.
"That is not a Hulen Mall policy," said manager Kevin Davies. " We support what she was doing, we support moms and all of our customers, and feel badly this occurred."
That's not all that reassuring for Sparks, though.
"I don't think I'll ever be able to shop there again, because I was just so upset about it," she said.
Good post, Motherbear -- you are exactly right. The distinctions you point out in your point is what is important to get at: specifics.
Tuffydoodle, I think that's the problem with this thread and the flaming.. it got too general. The specifics do matter. There is breastfeeding; and then there are activist breastfeeders making political positions. That's the problem IMHE. And what is causing all sorts of hurt feelings and confusion, specifically, on this thread.
Again, are we talking about sitting in a very public venue nursing; or discreetly nursing? The nuances have ramifications, IMHO.
Pamlet -- once exposed to the rabid "breastfeeding" activists, one succumbs or never forgets the experience. Can assuredly drive home a "look out for the activists" modus, IMHO. I was in a business meeting 20+ years ago, probably about 30 people around a table, formal suits, briefcases... when a consulting project manager walked in with her wee one and whipped it out. She was from Seattle. And she had nipples the size of frisbees. And it definitely created problems in that meeting. We had to reschedule the meeting, as everyone was busy "not looking at her" and "not looking at her responding to her statements" in that meeting. The "don't look" mantra doesn't work. I liked the one posters response, in this thread.. which posited; what if your male manager asked to watch you lovingly breastfeed your baby -- you'd nail him for sexual harassment or, IME, "creating a hostile (nursing) environment". It's true.
Yep - but you know I've not really seen anyone saying that they have a problem with moms who are discreet about their nursing.
I think nursing in a food court is a bit over the top. Frankly there are plenty of other places to do it discreetly. Besides the fact that I never did get the hang of doing it discreetly.. laugh...
I do find it interesting the HUGE emotional outcry on both sides. In my case - it was those who in the name of the La Leche league that drove me nuts... and it WAS emotional for me.
I can see the point that something that has been "natural" forever has been taken over by groups that have a decidely liberal bent. The thing in one of her posts that really jumped out to me was the word "CHOICE" .. by using the concept that woman "CHOOSE" to nurse in public.. automatically makes it right.
I would think that truly conservative woman CHOOSE to nurse discreetly. I of course have no problem with that.. :)
I got "discouraging" comments long ago, too. I didn't care. Case closed. But I certainly didn't invite the opportunity for people to nail me for publically breastfeeding. I found other ways and means to "nurse" while in public venues, out of the public sphere of "witness". I was protecting my child and me from potential conflict and or "stress". And, I was much more relaxed. Took in some quiet time with my wee one.
I do agree with you on how silly it is to object to the idea of nursing anytime a woman can sit down... I've known women who have been nursing when I walk up to them, I have talked to them awhile, and not realized they were nursing at all until they moved to discreetly 'unhook'. You'd have to be staring to see any boob, and good grief, there are worse things than an instant flash of boob when a baby is present. If you disagree, then don't stare.
You have to have twisted yourself up into an awfully unnatural view of woman and babe and breasts and mammals to think boobs are only lurid and tempting sex toys.
A guy taking a leak is no different to you than a baby drinking milk from his mother?????
Not everyone sees things the same way. By making breastfeeding in public a POLITICAL ISSUE, the harm has been done, IMHO. And just because some see it as not a good thing to do in public; doesn't make them knuckledraggers, either. It's just *their* opinion, too.
Did you read through the entire thread? It almost seems unreal, considering what people think is normal nowadays. Thongs on the beach, naked people in movies, very suggestive things on TV, girls walking around malls with ultra low jeans and tiny tops and people get crazy about a nursing mother?
Apples and oranges argumentation, tuffydoodle. I'm sure were you to poll the posters on this thread; you'd also find them disagreeing majorly with the "sexual objectification" of young females, too. This thread was specifically about breastfeeding in public.
Oh apples and oranges. So equating urinating and masturbating in public with breastfeeding isn't apples and oranges?
If you want to get specific, the story was, the woman was discreetly nursing her baby in public. She wasn't militant, she wasn't hanging her breasts out nor thrusting them in anyone's face. If I have to stay completely on topic, make sure everyone else does, too.
Also, since you are the posting police on this thread, why am I the only one called on being rude? There has been more than enough rudeness to go around, and not all of it was me.
Not if I see you at the mall you won't.
So what if you've met people that were too 'rabid' about their breasts? Who cares? I never have, but I've met people that were indiscreet in other ways. Doesn't change the issue that there is a discreet way to do it and people should relax about using boobs for their actual function despite their side-job as a tintalating sex toy.
I think most here who are objecting are objecting to the IDEA of it, and they've never seen an instance of overt boob on the table. They are objecting out of unfamiliarity - the fear of being offended - rather than familiarity.
It's an issue for public debate and politics because opinion does reach a point where a ruling has to be made over whose opinion is protected when we have a booth in a restaurant, a hungry baby, and a prudish complainer in the same public place. IMHO, right of way goes to the least manueverable craft... the breastfeeding mom.
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