Hey pal,
I agree with you. Looks are important to women, but not in the way that most men think. That is, a man is 'good looking enough' for even the most gorgeous women so long as he is not physically repulsive.
The good news is that this is a very extreme standard and almost nobody is that hideously ugly. In fact, most repulsive men can improve their looks enough in just a few months to not be repulsive - loose some weight, exercise a bit, dress just a little better, get a better razor and be mindful of basic (though not obsessive) grooming, get a better haircut, etc.
As far as looks go, the truth is that women enjoy being the genuine 'better half' of any couple. If a man presents himself with the qualities of an appealing male, and is anywhere from below-average looking to handsome (just not repulsive), very attractive women will respond in time, even if he is a little chubby, a few years older, whatever.
An unusual blessing for men in the female creature is that as a woman sexually and emotionally bonds with a man, his features become more handsome to her. Women are very individual in their taste with men.
[Conversely, as a man sexually and emotionally bonds with a woman, her features become more average to him (which isn't to say ugly) and it's not unusual for a man to not even really notice her looks as much, or even grow bored of her looks, especially if most of what she offered were good looks.]
Money is closely associated with power, a quality women find attractive. It basically reassures women of their safety with the man - they won't have to weather a financial crisis. A man is better off being average looking, masculine, and with a good income, than devastatingly handsome, wimpy, and poor.
The dominant factor is the masculine demeanor, and lack of wimpy energy. It can make a man, or break him, in the eyes of most of the women he will encounter.
Yes, you said it better than I. Dressing well, staying in vaguely decent shape, and being well-groomed is about all that is required of a guy. In this regard, men have it far easier than women on average because these are things guys can change with a modicum of effort. Women are often judged by intrinsic characteristics that are a basic part of who they are.
Of course, the problem is that most guys 1) don't realize that these things are important, and 2) have no idea what constitutes "correcting" them. I would actually say that while a man should not listen to women on how to behave (they often give poor advice), women often give good advice on how to dress well and on how to clean yourself up to be appealing. They actually know something about this. Honestly, I learned a lot about how best to dress myself from former girlfriends, and I was more than happy to listen as it always seemed like reasonable advice that never steered me wrong.
cheers!