I agree - what you wrote bolsters my position, and doesn't undermine it. As you say, 'both men and women have their own explanations for why they fail with the opposite sex.'
Women I know insist on the 'madonna/whore' dichotomy, which I roughly relate to the 'nice guy/jerk' dichotomy. Both are false in that there are more choices than those two.
Invariably, people who don't do well oversimplify it and insist on paradigms like those I mentioned above. It's not an excuse.
Excellent insight.