Why VERY INTELLIGENT Men Fail With Women

bullz-eye.com ^ | 04/07/05 | by: David DeAngelo, Author of "Double Your Dating"

[patton]

Heheh. I got deployed on a mission once, and my GF of the time kept calling the office. They told her I was in the bathroom. For six weeks.

Anyway, I came home, and I asked, where is she?

Went to Berlin with her old boyfriend.

So I moved everything she owned out - into the snow.

She got back that night, and I said, "Sorry, I don't want to play."

[durasell]

A former dancer who I knew vaguely saw a crow in Central Park. She took this as a sign she should leave her husband and kids and move in with her old college room mate in L.A. When he finally got ahold of her she said -- get this! -- she was on a "Vision Quest." In Malibu?

[patton]

What the heck is a "vision quest?"

Is that like a walk-about?

[nopardons]

Good grief!

But really, not everyone in "the arts" is that nuts; just about 97% of them. :-)

[angelanddevil2]

Whatever. A smart guy would be successful with ME.

[durasell]

It's an old indian religious rite of passage. I don't know much about it, but from my limited experience with it, I surmise that a vision quest seems to involve eating sushi, driving a rented Porsche and attending screenings of Bruce Willis movies.

[tortoise]

Good looks and money also help a lot, the former more than the latter, though.

You are mad. Power (of which money is a form) is the currency of women, though different women prefer different forms. Had you been paying attention, you would notice that there are an awful lot of trolls in the world with disturbingly gorgeous girlfriends.

The vast majority of my anecdotal evidence and observation suggests that "looks" has very little to do with it, and often can be a detriment if the guy is too "pretty".

[Rca2000]

Well, I think the main reason that my mother's family, ESPECIALLY my uncle, and his son, think so lowly of me, is that our politics clash too much, and I am NOT shy about my beliefs.

For example, two Sundays ago, after church, me, my uncle, and mother ,were on our way to eat lunch, and my mother mentioned something about the cost of gas. I remarked some sensible reasons for high gas prices, such as Arab greed, lack of production, environmental factors, and such, but my uncle started ranting about "how it is Bush's fault, and he is making all kinds of money, from oil". I tried to talk some sense into him, but he is a know-it-all, "well, that is what the news says", was his reasonings for his beliefs. I continued to explain about the fact that he needs to get on the net, to sites like this one, to get some REAL truth, but he just repeated his stance, at which point my mother told me to drop it, as I was getting nowhere.

Later, after Lunch, the Terri Schiavo topic came up. I thought for SURE my uncle would be on the right side of this one, but no--once again, CBS was the "holy grail" of news to him, and he thought "the government had no business trying to keep that BRAIN-DEAD woman alive(I SWEAR, those were his words). This time, BOTH my mother and me tried to reason with him, to no avail.

SO-- that, I believe, is the reason, that I am a "black sheep", in his eyes, -- I stand up to him, and can hold my ground in discussions-- something his wife did NOT do,when she was alive, and he does not like that. His son, feels even more strongly against me, for the same reasons(he is an arts teacher,at Wilmington College, after all).

[patton]

Ah. (looks confused)

[patton]

Dude, if you follow your argument to the logical conclusion, you are going to wind up a rich-old-fart raising the pool-boy's kids.

[durasell]

Okay, seriously, a vision quest is a native american ceremony where a male goes out into the wilderness alone and meditates, fasts, etc. and eventually receives a "vision" and/or visitation from the spirit world. Serious stuff and an actual ancient ceremonial thing.

The woman I mentioned used the language of the native american religious ceremony to blow town for a couple of months and rack up $30,000 on the credit cards.

[patton]

Holy_expletive_deleted.

$30K???? I would have canceleed those suckers so fast...

[nopardons]

The Australian aborigines haves the same kind of thing, but it's called a "WALK ABOUT".

[durasell]

It's a good story as NY stories go. He didn't cancel the cards, because that's how he tracked her. "Hello, American Express, can you tell me the last charge on my card? Oh, Mr. Chow's? I see. And that was tonight? Right. Thank you."

And, in truth, the guy could afford it. $30,000 wasn't going to saddle him with a debt for life, but if his wife went over the edge forever and left him with two kids under five --that's a tough row to hoe.

[durasell]

New Yorkers also do it. It's called Saturday night.

[patton]

That is sort of - sad. If your relationship deteriorates to the point where AMEX is the significant POC, I guess it is done for.

[nopardons]

That's NOT the same thing and you know it! LOL

[Jimbaugh]

What a lode of crap.

[durasell]

People sometimes lead odd lives. I just try to stand clear and not take sides. On the other hand, NYC is a constant surprise in this regard. Just when you think you've seen the strangest things -- something new crops up.

[HitmanLV]

Hey pal,

I agree with you. Looks are important to women, but not in the way that most men think. That is, a man is 'good looking enough' for even the most gorgeous women so long as he is not physically repulsive.

The good news is that this is a very extreme standard and almost nobody is that hideously ugly. In fact, most repulsive men can improve their looks enough in just a few months to not be repulsive - loose some weight, exercise a bit, dress just a little better, get a better razor and be mindful of basic (though not obsessive) grooming, get a better haircut, etc.

As far as looks go, the truth is that women enjoy being the genuine 'better half' of any couple. If a man presents himself with the qualities of an appealing male, and is anywhere from below-average looking to handsome (just not repulsive), very attractive women will respond in time, even if he is a little chubby, a few years older, whatever.

An unusual blessing for men in the female creature is that as a woman sexually and emotionally bonds with a man, his features become more handsome to her. Women are very individual in their taste with men.

[Conversely, as a man sexually and emotionally bonds with a woman, her features become more average to him (which isn't to say ugly) and it's not unusual for a man to not even really notice her looks as much, or even grow bored of her looks, especially if most of what she offered were good looks.]

Money is closely associated with power, a quality women find attractive. It basically reassures women of their safety with the man - they won't have to weather a financial crisis. A man is better off being average looking, masculine, and with a good income, than devastatingly handsome, wimpy, and poor.

The dominant factor is the masculine demeanor, and lack of wimpy energy. It can make a man, or break him, in the eyes of most of the women he will encounter.