Why VERY INTELLIGENT Men Fail With Women

bullz-eye.com ^ | 04/07/05 | by: David DeAngelo, Author of "Double Your Dating"

[Victoria Delsoul]

Now, that's funny.

[HitmanLV]

Nah, that really isn't the dynamic at work here. Check post #77 for a better view.

[Ciexyz]

A most commendable Bulwer-Lytton effort, I must say.

[The Wizard]

long but fun

[The Spirit Of Allegiance]

Don't push your luck, LOL!

What luck?

I'm a man spurned. OTOH, at least I'm smart enough not to sign up for the loser email that launched this thread. Ronery. But no DUmmie, at least.

(sniff)


;^)

[Victoria Delsoul]

LOL!

[Nowhere Man]

All the smart men that I know including the one that I look at in the mirror when I get up in the morning have their feet solldly planted in the nineteenth century. This is a problem because most women have their feet planted in the last half of the twentieth century as well as the century that we are all presently living in. This transcends the red state, blue state thingy. Smart men looking for women who have not progressed are going to have follow the telemarketers and look to outsource from Asia.

Yeah, I'm afraid you can count me in on your little posse too. I think you hit upon something. I know myself, if I had a time machine, going back 100-125 years would sound mighty tempting to me. Heck, I kept gettng e-mails from one guy asking me to build HIM a time machine. Well, I'm good at electronics, hold an amateur radio license, love to fix old radios and would like to tackle a 1970's era TV or two, but I think time machines are a bit out of my league. B-D Maybe the next time John Titor (the "time traveller" from 2036 featured on Art Bell/George Noory, I like to follow that story) comes back in his time travelling 1967 Camaro (from the pics, it also resembles the interior to a 1968 Pontiac LeMans too), I'll swipe the sucker. B-) Maybe I'll build one out of that 1970 Zenith I have. B-)

Seriously, I know what you mean, my grade school buddy I still hang with is tying with the idea of talking to women in Russia and elsewhere, heck, he talks to one in Canada, I talk to her too and she seems even more conservative than many American women (Freeper women excluded of course as in all my talk on this subject on FR, I want to make that clear) I've run across. Of course, things can be deceiving on the internet too so you gotta be very careful. He's through with American women.

Well, myself, I would love a conservative, Christian woman, American or not, but that is my position.

I think getting back to what you said, sure we men would do our share of the housework but there are times we like to be pampered to although it is a two way street as well so there are time we need to pamper the women too. I hesitate on speaking on a sensitive topic as this, but since I got dragged in, well, I have this habit of opening up my big mouth. B-)

[Nowhere Man]

FR might as well start a dating service and be done with it.

I'll drink to that!!!

[Nowhere Man]

LOL! Psych pop garbage. Treat people right and people will find you worth spending their time with you. It isn't really that complicated. Manipulation will get you nowhere. Sincere compliments with go a long way with people than devious flattery. You don't need to spend big bucks to have success with people. I said people - not women. The same skills that you have for dealing with workers, friends and strangers work as well in romantic pursuits. There's no mystery to what you need to do to get someone interested in you. Treat them right.

Hmmmm, maybe that's the key. The Golden Rule. I'll have to remember that.

[Nowhere Man]

BUT-- I have some questions-- and I think other men have them too, but are afraid to ask, for fear of retaliation from other Freepers. Since I ALWAYS get flamed, at nearly every post, I am getting used to it now.

You bring about good questions and I hope I don't get flamed, but I'm used to it. B-) Anyhoo, I think what the "free love" and rabid feminist movements from the 1960's caused a lot of the problems we have between men and women today. Basically, you have the idea of a "superwoman" coming about who didn't need men and could be a man when she wants to be, much like you turn a TV on or off. There are times that I think the social upheavels of the 1960's should have been aborted, again there are times I wish I had a time machine. I'll be 39 in July and there are times I do shake my fist at those 1960's radicals and say to them, "thanks a heap for ruining my country."

In the beginning, the old Victorian feminists wanted doors open up for women, they wanted the opportunities to exist if a woman choosed to go into a career. I have no problem with that and encourage it, but like anything else, the requirements for the job/career in question need to be met on their own merits, regardless of gender, skin color, etc. Say if the job requires a 4 year degree or to carry a 100 lbs pack, then it should apply to all equally. I know in some cases, depending on those requirements, you might get more women then men who could meet them or vice versa. There are differences between the genders and the rabid feminists want to erase that. Good luck in trying to change God's work from what He intended, but they still try.

Well, here is another voice in the wilderness, even though you might remember me and also see my posts on Audio Karma as well. B-)

[Nowhere Man]

I state the obvious. Many many women have this belief that men are here to provide for them, cater to them, adorn them with everything, listen to them, understand them, apologize to them, all while never feeling themselves that they have the same obligations to the man.

I'm telling you from personal knowledge, most guys I know feel exactely as I wrote, and are very very tired of the typical Amercian woman's attitude about most things.

Sometimes we wish we were back in the 50's. Although it was not perfect, it seemed like a dynamic that worked, although I could be wrong.

You hit the nail on the head with that one. I just typed something similar a few posts ago, I hope it was clear enough, but you said almost exactly what I said. It is a two way street.

[Nowhere Man]

Hey Gidget7, I'm also "copying the mail" (an old amateur or CB radio term, I'm an electronics geek) too on your advice on determining if a woman is a feminist or not. Just want to let you know, "the walls have ears." B-)

[Nowhere Man]

BTW, I like your test of "if he watches Lifetime," but lett me add "Oxygen" into the mix. If she watches "Oxygen" on cable, run like heck! "Oxygen" is a poor name, should be called "Carbon Monoxide" in my opinion. B-) That channel spews more crap out of its exhaust pipe than a 1965 East German Trabant. B-D

[ducdriver]

Another "test" I never fail to apply: Does she watch soaps?

[rwfromkansas]

I get straight A's, but ask me to hold a conversation in a room full of people and I can't do it very well at all.

If it is one-on-one, I am fine, but big groups seem to frighten me or something.

I think there is something to the whole "geeks are socially awkward" thing because I sure feel that way sometimes.

[rwfromkansas]

What about the "guys only care about boobs and butt and sex" stereotype etc. as well?

Women aren't immune from this problem.....both men and women have their own explanations for why they fail with the opposite sex, whether it is that guys are frightened of independent/intelligent/funny/fun (fill in the blank with whatever you think you are, hot stuff) women or if it is that women only like bad guys.

Now, in my experience, girls do like a bit of excitement and unpredictablity. You will not go very far if you are boring and stale. But, at the same time, it is just not true that all girls are into bad guys (though I must say, I was surprised when listening to a conversation before my mass media writing class in which most of the girls, even "nerds" were talking about how they liked wild, bad boys....and this is a Christian college...)

[rwfromkansas]

true.

[Rca2000]

Hey, nowhere, Been out for a few hours. Had to do the radio club thing tonight. picked up some more '70's tv modules. (sold one, plus a coil from my '62 Zenith roundie chassis, spare, stashed in my Middletown garage, sold both to AK'ers. ).

Anyhoo, You say you want to go back 100 years, I just want to go back 20, to have another chance with a woman who genuinely cared about me, but at the time ,I was distracted by others, till it was too late.I would give a LOT, probably even a CTC5, or, maybe even a ct100, or Zenith Stratosphere, to have another chance with Kim.

BTW-- the Oxygen channel shouldn't be called the CO channel, it should be called the VX channel!!

[rwfromkansas]

I am really shy as well. I don't talk much in the college cafeteria when I go to eat because the stuff being talked about just doesn't interest me usually unless it is 1) theology 2) politics 3) a movie I actually have seen...half the time they talk about something I haven't even seen.

However, when I meet somebody I think is interesting, especially girls, I try very hard to talk to them. I write down conversation topic ideas. I talk to them. I ask them questions about everything. I look up some funny jokes to tell. In a sense, I do everything I can to prep myself to get over my shyness with this person, and the way I can do that is by coming "prepared." It works. I did this with one girl and she eventually began to like me....and that was after she first said there was no way we would be anything but "just" friends. I was amazed. It didn't work out, but you will be amazed at how much just trying to get out of your shell will help, even if it is just with that one person. In my case, this girl was very quiet herself. It was like pulling teeth getting her to talk and rather humorous that I was the talkative one.

But, you just have to get out of your comfort zone and do it.

Frankly, coming up with things to talk about isn't as easy as they say it is. I know. But, you have to do it if you really think somebody is worth the effort. That is the only way you can get to know them.

I don't go on many dates; I much prefer being friends first, not jumping into things with an akward first date etc. But, I will say that on these dates, I do my best to be talkative. And, it pays off.

You just have to do it. It may not be easy, but it sure is worth it.

And, this way, we only exert our energy on people worthy of it, not on everybody we see like those outgoing types. :)

[rwfromkansas]

exactly. This article is basically "change yourself" and become a moron for them.

Drivel.