Personally I've had to hide in the trivial... close my eyes to the reality just for a bit.. take respite in the benign... I think when she goes it's gonna be like with my parents.. even though I KNEW they were dying.. I couldn't make myself believe it.. especially when my mother was sick.. if I had been more grounded, I would have done many things differently during her illness.. sorry. didn't mean to talk about myself again..
You have nothing to be sorry for.
I think we are all in a state of change right now and it's a little frightening. It wasn't a gradual change, it was an overnight wake up call. It'll take a lot of prayers and love from fellow believers.