Michael Schiavo: A refusal to quit in the face of threats, anguish and vitriol.

The Inquirer ^ | Mar. 20, 2005 | Sandy Bauers

[Former Military Chick]

He's been vilified on Web sites and talk shows. He's been called a wife-abuser, an adulterer, a money-grubbing murderer.

Death threats have been left in his mailbox.

Throngs of protesters have waved signs and chanted outside his house in Clearwater, Fla., and they have gathered again.

Sometimes, even Michael Schiavo's friends have wondered why, in the face of all that, he didn't just walk away.

It would have been easier for him to relinquish guardianship of his severely incapacitated wife, Terri, to her parents.

So why not give it up, leave Terri's feeding tube in, let her parents care for her? After all, he is living with another woman now and they have two children.

"Because he's sticking by what he promised," Scott Schiavo, Michael's brother, said in a recent interview. "He wants to honor the last thing he can give to her."

Physicians have testified that Terri Schiavo is in a persistent vegetative state and will never improve. Michael Schiavo has said his wife told him she would not want to live like this.

Her parents, Bob and Mary Schindler, formerly of Huntingdon Valley, say she is responsive and can be helped. They say that, as a Catholic, she would choose life at all costs.

On Friday, Terri Schiavo's feeding tube, which has been in place for all but two brief stretches of time since she collapsed in 1990, was removed. It could be brief this time as well. The House is expected today to consider a Senate bill that would allow Schiavo's parents to take their case to federal court.

Throughout the protracted legal battle, the Schindlers have made their religious views, their personal anguish, and their mistrust of Michael Schiavo a public cause.

Intensely private, according to his family and friends, Michael Schiavo has rarely spoken publicly about the matter, out of respect for his wife's privacy. Through his brother, he declined to be interviewed for this story.

However, in recent days he has gone on national TV to reiterate that Terri would not have wanted to live like this and criticize politicians for getting involved in a deeply personal matter.

His brother and friends also have decided that it's time to speak up. The mudslinging, they said, has become too ugly, too nasty.

"I have a friend who I think has been maligned," said Russ Hyden of Gainesville, Fla.

"We're tired of it. We're done. It's time people know who he is," said Scott Schiavo, who lives in Levittown near where the brothers were raised.

The thing is, even if Michael Schiavo wins the final court battle, and Terri Schiavo's feeding tube is removed, he really hasn't won at all, Scott said.

"He's already lost," he said. "He's already lost Terri."

Social with friends, but reclusive

His brother and friends describe Michael Schiavo as social within his circle of friends, but otherwise almost reclusive. Except for the No Trespassing sign on his front lawn and the armed guards he's occasionally hired to protect his home, he's tried to grasp whatever shreds of normalcy he can.

His friends don't see the demon that protesters who have hurled insults at him do.

Wilma Mackay, a 65-year-old retiree from Palm Harbor, Fla., who watched her husband and brother die of cancer, sees a man who is "the epitome of loyalty."

Bonnie Rowley of Largo, Fla., a friend for about a decade, sees someone who "stands strong on what he believes in, and that is Terri Schiavo. If I needed a health-care advocate, he'd be my first choice. I know he'd be there till the end, and he'd give it one hell of a fight."

Michael Schiavo, 41, was the youngest of five boys. Six-foot-seven, athletic and model-handsome, he met Terri Schindler at Bucks County Community College in 1982.

She had graduated from Archbishop Wood High School in Warminster, he from Woodrow Wilson High School in Bristol Township.

Married two years later, they moved to Florida, where, early on the morning of Feb. 25, 1990, Michael Schiavo has testified, he awoke to the sound of a thud and found Terri on the floor in the hallway, unconscious.

They had been married a little over five years.

He has spent three times as long - the last 15 years - first trying to bring her back, then trying to let her go, his friends and brother say.

In the beginning, they say, Schiavo was relentless in his search for his wife's cure. She underwent various therapies.

He rented a house large enough for him and Terri's parents, who had moved to the area.

He made sure she was dressed every day. He applied her makeup and dabbed on perfume, Rowley said.

He went to school to become a nurse, "because he wanted to take care of Terri," Scott said. "He swore that he could get Terri better... . One doctor said: 'Mike, you know what? There's nothing else we can do. The next time Terri gets sick, why don't you just let nature take its course?' And Mike wouldn't do it."

Death and defining moments

Many of the defining moments of Michael Schiavo's life have revolved around death.

In 1988, his grandmother was hospitalized with a serious illness. She had signed a "do not resuscitate" order, Scott Schiavo said, but when she worsened in the middle of the night, no one looked at her records.

"It took them I don't know how long to get her breathing again. They stuck a ventilator down her throat." To little avail. "She was brain-dead," Scott Schiavo recalled.

All the family could do was wait until medications that kept her heart beating wore off. It took a day and a half, he said.

After the funeral, the family went to the Buck Hotel in Feasterville. Scott and Terri were sitting next to each other at a large table, where the conversation turned to how upset their grandmother would have been at her final hours.

Terri turned to him, Scott Schiavo said, "and she said, 'Not me, no way, I don't want that.' She says, 'If I'm ever like that, oh, don't let me. Pull that tube out of me.' " Scott Schiavo said he testified about the incident in 2000.

Several years after Terri collapsed, Michael Schiavo's mother was diagnosed with cancer.

Eventually, medical complications required the removal of her feeding tube, Scott said. "It's not like we said: 'Turn it off.' "

She was kept "peaceful and out of pain" until she died, Scott said.

Then their father died.

Eventually, Scott said, his brother realized he would have to let Terri go, too.

The Schindlers - who did not respond to a request for an interview made through their lawyer - have been distrustful of his motives partly because, they have said, no one mentioned Terri's wishes until years after her collapse.

But, Scott said, "it's not something you think about while Mike's trying to save her life... . It's something that people do when there's nothing left to do."

This particular fight has not come without a price.

"I give Mike all the credit in the world, because I would have snapped already. I know how bad it hurts me when I hear people talking about him and downing him," Scott Schiavo said.

Most of all, Scott said, "the thing that tears him up is he worries at nighttime, if he's working. He's afraid for the kids and Jodi."

Love and moral dilemmas

Michael Schiavo met his girlfriend, identified in court records as Jodi Centonze, about a decade ago.

Initially, Rowley, who was Centonze's friend, didn't know what to think. The court battles had not yet heated up, but she knew the situation with Terri.

When Rowley met Michael Schiavo, what she noticed first was his "great smile, a gentle smile."

Gradually, her respect grew. "He could have stepped off and divorced Terri five years ago, when this really hit the court. And got married and started his family that way," Rowley said.

The couple has two toddlers - a daughter and a son. Michael Schiavo works in the medical unit of the Pinellas County Jail.

Both Centonze and Michael Schiavo had to face "their own moral dilemmas as far as having children out of wedlock," Rowley said. "But the two of them weren't getting any younger... So does that make him a bad person because he did that? Did he fluff his responsibility to Terri at any point? No."

It is Centonze, Scott Schiavo said, who now does all Terri's laundry. "She's been unbelievable. She supported Mike in everything he did... . She's gone with Mike to visit Terri. She's helped Mike clean Terri up."

Centonze has been a flashpoint for Michael Schiavo's critics who think it is a reason to disqualify him to be Terri's guardian. His living with Centonze "abrogates the covenant of marriage," said Rob Schenck, president of the National Clergy Council, who was among the demonstrators outside the hospice on Friday.

Looking back on it now, Scott thinks his brother "just wanted somebody to love him." He equates it with a widower who remarries, "but it doesn't mean that that person stopped loving their spouse that passed on. Mike was very lonely. I mean, he was a 26-year-old kid" when Terri collapsed.

"It's hard to imagine the circumstances he lived under," friend Russ Hyden said. "There was no closure, yet there was no companionship either. That's the worst possible scenario."

Hyden had met Schiavo in 1991. Hyden's pregnant wife had been diagnosed with cancer. A mutual friend thought they "might have something in common. And we did."

But it was more than that they were both going through "life-changing ordeals," Hyden said. "We both liked to play a little golf. We enjoyed each other's company."

Hyden scoffs at the accusations about Schiavo taking the malpractice money awarded to Terri. "If there was so much money, where was that money when I first met Mike? Why wasn't he driving a big car and living in a big home? He was driving a Jeep and living in an apartment."

Hyden's wife lived for almost three more years. He and Schiavo spoke or saw each other several times a week.

"He was always great with my kids," Hyden said. Hyden's daughter was 2, his son 7, and Michael brought them gifts.

"He spent a great deal of time helping me put my family back together," Hyden said. "Perhaps it was because his had fallen so tragically apart."

Sympathy for Terri's parents

In a way, Michael Schiavo has said he can sympathize with Terri's parents. "I have children, and, you know, I couldn't even fathom what it would be like to lose a child," he said in an interview on Nightline last week.

But, he continued, "they know the condition Terri is in. They were there in the beginning. They heard the doctors. They know that Terri's in a persistent vegetative state. They testified to that at the original trial. Fifteen years - you've got to come to grips with it sometime."

He said Terri would "always be a part of my life.

"And to sit here and be called a murderer and an adulterer by people that don't know me, and a governor stepping into my personal, private life, who doesn't know me either? And using his personal gain to win votes, just like the legislators are doing right now, pandering to the religious right, to the people up there, the antiabortion people, standing outside of Tallahassee?

"What kind of government is this? This is a human being. This is not right."

In a way, Michael Schiavo's world still revolves around Terri. He calls every day and visits several times a week, Scott Schiavo said. He can still talk to her, even if she doesn't talk back.

Michael Schiavo yesterday told CNN that he had a "sense of relief" now that the feeding tube had been removed and he promised to "stay by her side" till the end.

"This is her time...," he said. "I will love her and I will hold her hand."

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Contact staff writer Sandy Bauers at 610-701-7635 or sbauers@phillynews.com.

* * * * * * * * * *

Congress tries again to stop Schiavo death

Timeline of the Terri Schiavo Case

Recent court rulings and other materials related to the Terri Schiavo case:

5 Wishes a Site that helps one prepare if one is unable to speak for themselves.

Partnership for Caring

Statutory Form of Declaration

* * * * * * * * * *

[Darkwolf377]

"And I've also said that in court. We didn't know what Terri wanted, but this is what we want..."

Wow, I never heard that one before. That's pretty freeping damning, and all those who've posted in his defense should have some interesting replies to it.

I may have to swipe that for my signature. ;)

[thoughtomator]

Broken links... very very troubling.

[winner3000]

(then NO AMOUNT of money could prevent him from destroying the evidence.)

You make very good sense. I would disagree with you on the above, however, as I think if there is any evidence it would have been found after 15 years.

[Netizen]

Michael Schiavo met his girlfriend, identified in court records as Jodi Centonze, about a decade ago.

That would be about 5 years into Terri's illness, which would explain his remembering AFTER 7 years that Terri would have wanted to die instead! /sarcasm

[PFKEY]

I hope he isn't able to collect or spend one dime of Terri's insurance money!!!!!!!!

Life insurence is the survivors money not the deseased money. So it is rightfully his money.

[Randjuke]

You are wrong on the facts. Terri can in fact eat food but her husband forbid it and thus she is fed through a tube.

I don't buy this. I have seen the quotes that confirm what you are saying but I have dealt with many nursing homes and hospitals. For a facility to deny oral feedings to someone with the ability to swallow would take a tremendous conspiracy. Looking at her videos I would think she's a very high aspiration risk.

[moneypenny]

Well, you have me there, I've been so busy with FR and my real life that I haven't read the text of the bill yet. Is the bill that is proposed the one that was specific to Terri's case or the more general one that has been debated? It is still my feeling that because there was no living will that the decisions regarding her welfare should err on the side of continued life. MS has had every opportunity to allow others to take on the "burden" of caring for Terri, so its not like he would suffer having to deal with the situation. I guess his single mindedness in his dealings with Terri, her care, her family etc. is what makes me question his motives.
You are right about the government staying out of our lives. But the government in its role of perserving the rights and liberties of its people is responsible for perserving the same for people who can't fight for themselves. None of this would be an issue if there had been a living will. Up until recently, and with no changes to the law, if there were no living will it was assumed all measures would be taken to perserve life. Its sad that this is no longer the case.

[FBD]

>"Why don't you review her medical record and see if you can come up with an innocent explanation of her multiple bone fractures across various parts of her body..."<


- I posted that doc on #378

[thoughtomator]

It just takes a high aversion to liability. There is a difference between being unable to eat, and being unable to eat safely enough to satisfy the conditions of insurance, and this patient falls between the two thresholds.

[hineybona]

That's a huge assumption. I cant believe how people ,who are usually very logical fact based and articulate on FR are now completly bonkers with emotion here and have clouded their judgement because of it .

[thoughtomator]

Sadly the link is broken =(

[PFKEY]

It's more embarrassing to see Freepers calling for an innocent woman's death!

There is not a single person here that can honestly say that we know for sure that this is not exactly what Terri said she would want. The only we know for certain is that she didn't put it in writting.

[thoughtomator]

Correction, I see it now... for some reason it looked like a broken image to me, odd.

[FBD]

http://www.terrisfight.org/images/bonescan.jpg

[Miss Behave]

You stated your post the very way I feel but have been unable to put into words. Life is so very precious.

[Randjuke]

being unable to eat safely enough to satisfy the conditions of insurance

Sorry, I don't follow this.

[Howlin]

Giving more powers to the federal government makes a bad situation worse.

Absolutely.

[thoughtomator]

Civilized people don't put others to death because their wishes are ambiguous. Valuing human life is the core of what distinguishes us from savages. When you don't know, you are compelled to err on the side of life. Once someone is dead there is no do-over.

[Former Military Chick]

For those interested in reading his statement.

Oct 20, 2003

Statement By Michael Schiavo

Last Wednesday, my wife's feeding tube was removed.

For over 6 years, I have struggled with the Schindlers in court. On Wednesday, I joined them in grief. I understand what the Schindlers are going through at this time. I feel the same loss.

For years after this happened to Terri, I tried desperately to find a cure for her. I went from one doctor to another. Almost all of them told me there was no possibility she would recover. Any doctor that gave me a glimmer of hope that some new treatment or therapy would work was given free reign with Terri. I would do anything to make her well.

I took Terri to California. I stayed with her while doctors performed an experimental procedure to implant electrodes in her brain to stimulate its function. I spent months working with her - hopeful of a cure. Months later, the doctors told me the electrodes were not working.

I took Terri to Mediplex, in Bradenton, Florida, which is a residential rehabilitation facility that specializes in brain injuries. She spent months there in intensive physical, speech, and occupational therapy and testing.

Finally, the doctors and therapist told me and the Schindlers they could do nothing more for her. I hired a private duty aide 8 hours a day to take Terri on outings to parks and museums trying to stimulate her - looking for any sign of life, any flicker of hope. There was none - ever.

Over the years, I had three swallowing tests performed on Terri in the hope that some of the therapies would allow her to be weaned off the feeding tube. The test all showed no change, and I was advised she could not swallow food. Even now, the nursing home staff says that sometimes Terri gags and chokes on the moisture from the swabs they use to moisten her lips.

The reports you heard from nursing home aides that Terri was responsive years ago are not true. I would give anything if they were. Those aides cared for Terri during the time that I was desperately seeking a cure for her. I was so frustrated that I could not help Terri. I am sure that I was sometimes unkind to the aides - even shouted at them. This was not because I wanted Terri dead, but because I desperately wanted her alive. I blamed myself because I could not bring her back.

It seemed to me, during that time, that the aides never did enough for Terri. Some days they did not put her makeup on. I would storm into the nursing home insisting that they do so. I knew Terri always wanted to look her best. Sometimes, the aides did not get her dressed and sitting up until late in the morning. They did not always get her hair combed. They sometimes failed to give her vitamins and medications on time. At each of those failures, I became enraged and lashed out. I felt so helpless. Each small infraction reminded me how powerless I was to really help Terri. I admit that I yelled at the aides and I am now deeply sorry for that behavior. Much like the Schindlers now, I stubbornly resisted and suggestion that Terri was in a persistent vegetative state and would never get better.

I never wanted Terri to die. I still don't. After more than seven years of desperately searching for a cure for Terri, the death of my own mother helped me realize that I was fooling myself. More important, I was hiding behind my hope, and selfishly ignoring Terri's wishes. I wanted my wife to be with me so much that I denied her true condition.

Terri told me on several occasions before this happened that she would not want to live in her current condition. If we had been older, I am sure she would have signed a living will making it clear that she did not to be kept alive on tubes and machines. She never had the chance.

That left me to carry out her wishes. It has been hard. In fact, it is the hardest thing I have ever done. In the end, I did what I believe Terri would have wanted me to do.

Some people do not agree with the decisions the court made to remove Terri's feeding tube. I struggle to accept it myself. But I know in my heart that it is right, and it is what Terri wants. There is no longer any realistic hope of Terri's recovery. Perhaps there never was, but I had to try - just as the Schindlers have tried. The reality is that Terri left us 13 years ago, and none of us can bring her back.

Terri's parents and family may visit with her as much as they choose in the days to come. I, and my friends and relatives, will be there as well to spend time with Terri, as we all grieve. Please pray for us all.

This story can be found at: http://news.tbo.com/news/MGA9DXB31MD.html

[Awestruck]

so why not err on the side of life? death is irreversable.
if you screw up, you can't take it back. Let her get well enough to speak again (she was speaking when put into the hospice), and let her say what she wants..