[Beeline40@aol.com]

I have a little story to tell you. My son Timmy died in 1992 from septis due to his leukemia. Well, a university called me some where from the mid west. Anyway, they wanted to send a medical student who was studying here from Japan to ask me cultural questions about how americans vs japanese parents or loved ones on how they react to illness and death of a loved one. It was very interesting. Apparently, now remember this is 1992, the japanese would never discuss the illness with the ill person nor tell them that they were going to die, vs most americans who are honest with their loved one. It just not something that is discussed there. They would keep the illness and the ramifications from the person.

[reaganaut]

I'm sorry to hear about your son. There are a couple of reasons cultures do not discuss death. One (and I think this is true in Japan) is that the knowledge of death, upsets the person (rightly so I guess) and that makes the death harder on that person. Some other cultures believed that knowledge of your own death made you more likely to come back as a ghost (called 'restless death').

But in our culture, there seems to be the idea that knowing you are dying is liberating. I don't necessarily think that is true. I think people have convinced themselves in order to make the amount of death in our culture "acceptable". That is sad. We shouldn't be so accepting of death, it numbs us to the proper respect the end of a life should hold.

Thank you for sharing your story.