[Constitution Day]

North Carolina is horrible, dirty, and dangerous.
Please stay far away.

Sincerely,
Constitution Day

[Osage Orange]

I live where the ticks are as big as bumble bees...and the chiggers are meaner than one-eyed billy goats.

Sometimes in the summer...the mosquitoes sound like hummingbirds..they are so big. Not to mention they bite right through thorn-proof pants...and carry West Nile virus. Geesh I hate those things...We lost Aunt Norf last summer to a whole flock of them.

And during the winter...it get's colder than Hillary's heart, and bleaker than Johnny Heinz Kerry's Senate record.

So whatever you do...don't come here.