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Welcome to Canada: The Great White Waste of Time.
The Weekly Standard ^ | March 21, 2005 | Matt Labash

Posted on 03/11/2005 9:37:53 PM PST by quidnunc

If the national mental illness of the United States is megalomania, that of Canada is paranoid schizophrenia. – Margaret Atwood, Canadian writer

Vancouver, British Columbia – Whenever I think of Canada … strike that. I'm an American, therefore I tend not to think of Canada. On the rare occasion when I have considered the country that Fleet Streeters call "The Great White Waste of Time," I've regarded it, as most Americans do, as North America's attic, a mildewy recess that adds little value to the house, but serves as an excellent dead space for stashing Nazi war criminals, drawing-room socialists, and hockey goons.

Henry David Thoreau nicely summed up Americans' indifference toward our country's little buddy when he wrote, "I fear that I have not got much to say about Canada. … What I got by going to Canada was a cold." For the most part, Canadians occupy little disk space on our collective hard drive. Not for nothing did MTV have a game show that made contestants identify washed-up celebrities under the category "Dead or Canadian?"

If we have bothered forming opinions at all about Canadians, they've tended toward easy-pickings: that they are a docile, Zamboni-driving people who subsist on seal casserole and Molson. Their hobbies include wearing flannel, obsessing over American hegemony, exporting deadly Mad Cow disease and even deadlier Gordon Lightfoot and Nickelback albums. You can tell a lot about a nation's mediocrity index by learning that they invented synchronized swimming. Even more, by the fact that they're proud of it.

-snip-

(Excerpt) Read more at weeklystandard.com ...


TOPICS: Canada; Culture/Society; Editorial; Extended News; Foreign Affairs
KEYWORDS: mattlabash
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1 posted on 03/11/2005 9:37:54 PM PST by quidnunc
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Comment #3 Removed by Moderator

To: Viking8

You know McDonalds in Canada sells McPoutin. Really.

Tried it, too bland.


4 posted on 03/11/2005 9:51:51 PM PST by longtermmemmory (VOTE!)
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Comment #5 Removed by Moderator

To: quidnunc

In Canada I sought out the best Maple Syrup. Turns out the best of the best is shipped back to the USA!


6 posted on 03/11/2005 9:52:50 PM PST by longtermmemmory (VOTE!)
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To: quidnunc

Canada is dull, dull, dull!


7 posted on 03/11/2005 9:54:37 PM PST by what's up
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To: quidnunc

One thing that Canada has over America is beer and spirits.


8 posted on 03/11/2005 9:55:08 PM PST by Extremely Extreme Extremist (EEE)
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To: quidnunc
This is perhaps the dumbest most pointless anti Canadian rant so-far.

Congratulations you've achieved a new standard, no standard at all.

This Matt Lagrass character is a complete idiot and you do yourself no service by quoting him.
9 posted on 03/11/2005 9:55:46 PM PST by beaver fever
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To: Extremely Extreme Extremist

And snow & cold


11 posted on 03/11/2005 9:57:18 PM PST by nuconvert (No More Axis of Evil by Christmas ! TLR)
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To: Viking8

Yes, very serious.

McDonald does make poutin in Canada.

McDonalds does a good deal of including local food items.

Another example, during the athens olympics I was able to buy "McToast". There it is essentially a toasted cheese and slice of ham sandwich. A "toast" is just a snack type item. (The also sell the good "bad for you" deep fried apple pie.)

I do confess I did like poutin at the better restaurants.


12 posted on 03/11/2005 9:57:31 PM PST by longtermmemmory (VOTE!)
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To: what's up
Canada is dull, dull, dull!

Have you ever been there? My family and I took a weekend getaway in Toronto (and Niagara Falls on the Canadian side) back in August. We had a great time.

14 posted on 03/11/2005 9:58:49 PM PST by ServesURight
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To: Viking8

That is GROSS!


15 posted on 03/11/2005 9:58:57 PM PST by nuconvert (No More Axis of Evil by Christmas ! TLR)
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To: quidnunc
I think Canada's biggest problem is that they suffer this horrendous inferiority complex.

They seem to have this inborn need to say that they're not Americans. Unfortunately for them, that also means that they pass by America's nobility and strength.

But, then again, Canada is "morally superior" to hmmm, I forget, are they morally superior to everyone on the planet? or just the US?

Oh well. Who cares? It's Canada we're talking about I guess.

16 posted on 03/11/2005 9:59:21 PM PST by America's Resolve (awarforeurabia.blogspot.com - Watching the war for Europe)
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Comment #17 Removed by Moderator

To: nuconvert
And snow & cold

Yeah but I live near Green Bay, WI...so I know a thing or two about the cold.

18 posted on 03/11/2005 10:00:19 PM PST by Extremely Extreme Extremist (EEE)
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To: ServesURight
Yes, I lived there in fact. Toronto would be a great place to visit for a couple days if you've never been there. But to live there...yuk.

A weekend is not enought to know what's going on up there. Canada, as well as other socialist countries...dull!

19 posted on 03/11/2005 10:01:16 PM PST by what's up
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To: Extremely Extreme Extremist
"....beer and spirits."

Pardon me, but aren't you forgetting the ol' contemplating their navel?
20 posted on 03/11/2005 10:03:16 PM PST by This Just In ((In the land of the blind, the one eyed man is king))
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