40 Most Awesomely Bad Love Songs

vh-1/viacom ^ | 3-02-05

[jocon307]

"Ruby, Don't Take Your Love To Town."

Oh my heavens, that is a GREAT song. It is the reason why I won't listen to Roxanne by the police, because it is such a poor rip-off of Ruby. Except in Moulin Rouge, in Moulin Rouge it is great, because Bax Lurhman is a genius. (Flame away all!)

LOL, I'm having so much fun reading and responding to this thread!

[the invisib1e hand]

Put me down also for "Feelings". I have a negative visceral reaction whenever I hear it.

I didn't see it, but I was told that there was once a "Gong Show" where every contestant performed that song in one form or another. Had to have been a hoot.

[the invisib1e hand]

"Muskrat Love" on his guitar.

Gee. I didn't think you could play that song on the guitar. :o

[redheadtoo]

David Lee Roth may be a paramedic but I did not confuse him with Bobby Sherman. Sherman was the teeny bopper heart throb of my junior high years. Then he disappeared from the public eye. So, I read with real interest the article that said he had trained to become a volunteer paramedic.

[Ready4Freddy]

Actually done first by the writer, Willis Alan Ramsey, as Muskrat Candlelight. Pretty funny song the way he does it.

[the invisib1e hand]

ARRRRGGGGGHHHHH! WILDFIRE!

Funny, I remember it only as "wildfire."

It brings to mind a couple of doozeys: "Claire," by Gilbert O'Sullivan, and "Seasons in the Sun" by whoever. >:P

[rdcorso]

Bad= True Colors by Cyndi Lauper and Don't Cry Outloud by Melissa Manchester.Good=Strangers In The Night by Sinatra and Sexual Healing by Marvin Gaye.

[jocon307]

"one wonders about people sitting around trying to write a song about muskrats (glorified rats) making love."

You make me realize we may have over looked the truly worst, most disgusting "love" song of all time, even worse than Muskrat Love.

"Ben", a love song to a rat, the theme from the movie "Ben" sequel to "Willard" and sung by none other than the famous, infamous, Micheal Jackson.

Ben, the two of us need look no more/
We both found what we were looking for/

Yikes!

I think it might have gotten an Oscar nom, anyone remember?

[the invisib1e hand]

"You're So Vain" by Carly Simon

that was good music and a pretty decent song overall. Probably one of the better compositions from that year. Lot of catchy hits on that album.

Remember when the nastiest thing on the air was Alice Cooper? Oh, what an innocent time.

[not_apathetic_anymore]

Remember when the nastiest thing on the air was Alice Cooper

yes..we're showing our age:)

[the invisib1e hand]

I saw several someones get gonged for singing "Feelings". It became an automatic gong. They even had one show where every act sang some version of it, and got gonged.

So it really did happen?! See my 892 or 842...

[the invisib1e hand]

yes..we're showing our age:)

well, the good thing about that is you're not apathetic anymore. and life begins at 40-something.

Gosh, now Alice Cooper is a nice, normal, golf-playing guy and his music is easy listening. Probably could hear it in an elevator somewhere....

[jocon307]

"You Were Always On My Mind" by Willie Nelson.."

Right, right, it makes a good companion piece to "Gentle on My Mind" by Glenn Campbell. But Gentle on my mind is a really pretty sounding song, if you don't listen to the lyrics. And he sort of made up for it's bad meaning with "Wichita Lineman", and I really always liked Glen Campbell, but I was thinking of Gentle on my mind the other day and what another undermining song it really was.

It's knowing that your door is always open and my path if free to walk....

that's all I can remember off the top of my head.

[Dysfunctional]

I really think the winner is:

ARTIST: Tony Orlando and Dawn
TITLE: Knock Three Times
Lyrics and Chords


Hey girl what ya doin' down there
Dancin' alone every night while I live right above you
I can hear your music playin'
I can feel your body swayin'
One floor below me you don't even know me
I love you

/ D - / - - A - / - - / / G A / D D7 /

{Refrain}
Oh, my darling, knock three times on the ceiling if you want me
Twice on the pipe if the answer is no, oh, my sweetness
(Knock, knock, knock!) Means you'll meet me in the hallway
Mmm, twice on the pipe (clink, clink) means you ain't gonna show

/ G - D - / A - D D7 / G - D - / A - D - /

If you look out your window tonight
Pull in the string with the note that's attached to my heart
Read how many times I saw you
How in my silence I adored you
And only in my dreams did that wall between us come apart

{Refrain}

I can hear your music playin'
I can feel your body swayin'
One floor below me you don't even know me
I love you

{Refrain}

[jocon307]

"I've still got "Iron Butterfly" songs stuck in my cranial hard drive..."

Innagaddadavida baby, don't you know that I love you?

[jocon307]

"I always thought that it was "torn between two mothers",

ROFLMAO!!!!!

You were ahead of your time!

[jocon307]

Ohmigod, that's Stephen Sondhiem!

Feigned NYTimes shock and horror!

[par4]

I almost regret mentioning this song, but "Sylvia's Mother" by Dr. Hook and the Medicine Show was a real bad piece of music.

Actually everything by Dr. Hook and the Medicine Show was pretty sucky..

[jocon307]

I second that emotion! But maybe only the songs that some folks like, not the truly universally hated ones, like, er, Muskrat love, for example!

[msjhall]

How about:

And there was no sound at all
Just the clock upon the wall
And the door flew open wide
and my daddy stepped inside
and he kissed my mamma's face
and he wiped her tears away
The night Chicago died
NaNaNa NaNaNa NaNaNa
The night Chicago died

I had to get that one off my chest