40 Most Awesomely Bad Love Songs

vh-1/viacom ^ | 3-02-05

[sully777]

What is the most awesomely bad love song ever? The one that makes you cringe when you hear it, but you just can't turn it off. What love song makes you shake your head, roll your eyes, laugh, gag, shed a tear, or just punch something because it's so horrendously great that you love to hate it. Or is it vice versa? VH1 is counting down the 40 Most Awesomely Bad Love Songs....The kind of songs that might end a relationship rather than enhance it. You get the drift.

Join us as we count down and celebrate fantastically cheesy lyrics, the best and worst metaphors, awkward and confusing themes, and of course, those strange, misguided flukes from our favorite artists, while our team of experts help explain why we've deemed these songs so (un)worthy. We've been covering our ears, shutting off the radio, and running from the room screaming for too long. It's time to ban these songs to our awesomely bad Hall of F(Sh)ame!

[Dan from Michigan]

Stranglehold!

[VMI70]

And don't forget "Paradise by the dashboard lights". Classic

Easily the greatest song of all time.

[KimmyJaye]

I think that was sung by the group Ambrosa. (sp)

[rube]

"I Bought You The Shoes" John D.Laudermilk. Heard it on an obscure Al Kooper album (weren't they all?)

I bought you the shoes you're walking away in...

Those bright royal blues you said you would stay in...

I spent all my money and a whole lot of wasted time...

I bought you the shoes, you gave me the blues...

And you stomped on this poor heart of mine.

I bought you the shoes on the day that we married...

Only to lose the woman they carried...

Who would have thought someone who had such beautiful shoes...

Would turn right around and walk out of town...

With a new love...(Pause for effect)

And a new pair of shoes...

Sung with a disturbing nasal twang I still remember it thirty years later.

[Steve_Seattle]

"I really think Little Red Riding Hood is cute."

I rationalized my liking of that song based on its having a similar chord progression to "House of the Rising Sun."

[F16Fighter]

1) Air Suppy's 'I'm All Out Of Love'

Gay-est. Song. EVER.

2) Paul McCartney's 'Silly Love Songs'

If I hear this song just ONE more time, I'm gonna find Paul and break a giant Valentine's Day heart of chocolate over his head until he's unconscience....

P.S. -- I don't care if it has been over 30 years since McCartney shoveled this crap into radios 24/7.

3) Gallery's 'It's So Nice To Be With You'

("I love all the things you say and do") Assume it's only during the 6 1/2 minutes of the throes of passion)

[GunnyHartman]

"Interesting that you post Ted Nugent."

I love the Motor City Madman. I just figured Wang, Dang, Sweet, Poon ****, was one of the best lust songs, therefore one of the worst love songs.

[skeeter]

"...I said 'get some sleep & dream of rock & roll'"

[Syncro]

Yes it was a GRATE song, I loved it too.

It hit me particularly because my girl friend at the time's middle name was Katherine. I could relate to it...LOL

And my ex-wife's middle name was Katherine too! And my last girlfriend told me her first name was Katherine, but she lied...But fit the mold! LOL

But it's the country ones that really get to ya'...and all of these relate to my experience to one degree or another:

I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well

You Can't Have Your Kate And Edith Too (See, there's a rendition of that name again...)

How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You When You Know I've Been A Liar All My Life (could have very well been a quote to me if there was a smidgen of honesty)

I Don't Want Your Body If Your Heart's Not In It

I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well

You Can't Deal Me All The Aces And Expect Me Not To Play (Why do they do that to ya???)

Your Wife's Been Cheatin' On Us Again (Dang, I should have told him when I had the chance...LOL)

I don't know if anyone has posted the lyrics to this song or not, but they belong on this thread IMO.

Kissing You Goodbye
Waylon Jennings
_____


I've learned to turn the other cheek
Is not what love's about
I've turned mine so many times
That I damned near wore 'em out
I've grown used to your abuse
And I thought I'd never quit
But I woke up this morning
Couldn't find my shiv-a-git
You've always liked to play your games
Well I got one for you
Pretend we're playing checkers girl
And it's your time to move
You'll find your suitcase on the porch
And the taxi in the drive
Get your tongue out of my mouth
I'm kissing you goodbye

Verse 2:

I see you've finally made it home
You been out all night
Your artificial hair's a mess
And your clothes don't fit you right

I've given and forgiven
Till there ain't nothing left
But all you gave was just enough
To satisfy yourself

I can smell that whiskey in your hair
And sen-sen on your breath
If you ever tried to tell the truth
You'd choke yourself to death

I don't want your nasty kisses
And don't tell me no more lies
Get your tongue out of my mouth

I'm kissing you goodbye
Get your tongue out of my mouth
I'm kissing you goodbye

[sully777]

The Ode to Studabaker Hawk in Billy The Mountain (Frank Zappa Live)

After pouring honey all over himself ina phone both super hero Studabaker Hawk is engulfed by hungry flies. Zappa and band break into 70's schlock music love music

Studabaker Hawk he does it every night
Studabaker Hawk he's really outta sight
Studabaker Hawk he treats the flies so right
Studabaker Hawk that's why they never bite
HEY! Stoo daa baaa ker
HEY! Stoo daa baaa ker


One wonders about that man.

[Steve_Seattle]

"YOu know, I may have missed it but we haven't heard any Carpenters songs mentioned yet either:)"

Possibly our brains have filtered out the memory of some of the really bad ones, the way the brain sometimes buries the memory of traumatic events.

[KimmyJaye]

I believe the groups name was Ambrosa

[cyncooper]

I knew his name at one time but couldn't have come up with it on my own. Thanks!

[not_apathetic_anymore]

I think "Afternoon delight" was from the Starland Vocal Band or some such ... Correctemundo... And I believe it hit #1 in 1974

Was it that early... I was remembering singing along to that on the way to a state track meet - and I was thinking it was a couple of years later than that:) I know...that's too much information!

[OB1kNOb]

I Got The Hoooongries For Your Love And I'm Waitin' In Your Welfare Line - Buck Owens

Baby, Baby Don't Get Hooked On Me - Mac Davis (eerrrppp!)

Feelings, Nothing More Than Feelings... - ???

I'm The Happiest Girl In The Whole USA - Donna Fargo (mmbmbbff!)

You Light Up My Life - Debbie Boone (Bbbblleeecccchhhhh!!!)

[KimmyJaye]

I think the dudes name in the song was Earl...

[dfwgator]

"Ted Nugent? Doing a love ballad???"

He needed the money.

[Snardius]

"I can't get over you, so why don't you get under me?"

Or...
"How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away"

[Indy Pendance]

I think you're right, I'm going off memory, and a long ago knowledge of music. Maybe that's why it was interesting to me. It was a deliberate subliminal message. I'll bet, if you play the 45 backwards, we'll find out the real meaning.

[F16Fighter]

"YOu know, I may have missed it but we haven't heard any Carpenters songs mentioned yet either:)"

Here's a song to puke over:

The Carpenters 'Hurting Each Other' ("making each other cry, hurting each other, tearing each other apart...")

Boo-F'n-Hoo...

Lol!