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If I (a woman)was hitchhiking (exhibiting poor judgment)and allowed myself to climb into a car with a nice enough looking man--hapless, benign entity--and he proceded to murder me, I would be to blame?

In my opinion, it's not productive to speak of "blame." The "blame" for murder is always with the murderer. But the fact remains that risky behavior all too frequently leads to bad outcomes.

It may be better to think about situations involving not yourself, but your daughter. Many of us, myself included, have had many talks with our daughters about the possible consequences of their risky behavior, not just to themselves, but to others, including their families.

We try to talk to them in the abstract, but it often falls on deaf ears. They simply do not think that it could ever happen to them. Or they think they you are just an old fogey whose true purpose is to keep them from having fun, living their life their own way, etc., etc.

If your daughter had a bad habit of hitchhiking, and some girl that you knew had just been murdered by someone she hitched a ride with, would you seize upon the opportunity to have a "teaching moment," or would you maintain that the murder victim was beyond having her conduct discussed in any such way? Timing and sensitivity would be important (best to wait until after the funeral), but if you wait for too much time to pass, then the emotional impact of the danger may be lost.

Whenever tragedies like this happened, there are always those who say that it is crass to discuss how it might have been avoided from the victim's point of view. Yet, that is the only time that people, especially those people who are engaging in comparable behavior who could really benefit from a graphic example of what can happen, are likely to pay attention.

When the young girl working at WalMart in Tyler got abducted and murdered, I used it as a teaching moment for my children. Same with the little girl in Florida who was grabbed from the car wash. I placed no blame on either girl, but they had made mistakes which led to their death, and I wanted to illustrate just how bad things like this tend to happen. As an effort to protect my children whom I knew had done or were likely to do similarly risky things.

When the young girl working at WalMart in Tyler got abducted and murdered, I used it as a teaching moment for my children. I happen to have known Megan. And devestating as her death was, you are correct. I have many times since then thought that if ONLY she had not walked to her car by herself she would undoubtedly be alive today. This is not the same as blaming her, it is wishing for a different outcome that could have been had by doing something differently. Thank you for pointing this out. sundero