Officer: "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?" Soldier: "Sure, buddy." Officer: "That's no way to address an officer! Now let's try it again!" Officer: "Soldier. Do you have change for a dollar?" Soldier: "No, SIR!"
Having just moved into his new office, a pompous, new colonel was sitting at his desk when an airman knocked on the door. Conscious of his new position, the colonel quickly picked up the phone, told the airman to enter, then said into the phone, "Yes, General, I'll be seeing him this afternoon and I'll pass along your message. In the meantime, thank you for your good wishes, sir." Feeling as though he had sufficiently impressed the young enlisted man, he asked, "What do you want?" "Nothing important, sir," the airman replied, "I'm just here to hook up your telephone."
Here goes....
The three ladies went to their first baseball game. This was something that was an occasion of great excitement to them.
To add to the excitement, they smuggled a bottle of booze into the game, and started immediately to enhance the soft drinks they bought.
It was a good game. There was a lot of action on the field and a lot of action in the stands.
All too soon, long before the game was over, the bottle was nearly empty.
By now, you should have enough information to be able to tell how far along the game is, and what the status of the game is, namely, the inning and how many runners are on base.
Have you figured it out yet?
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It's the bottom of the fifth, and the bags are loaded.